Transcript
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For the cat, Ms podcast, I'm Kat and I miss. This is a true life Podcast where we explore the quirks of being human.
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Hey, cat. Hey, miss.
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I have worn the sweatshirt the past three Sundays.
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It looks really good on you. Oh, thanks. Let me change my name.
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Oh, my name is moose. Oh, your Cabbage Patch Kid.
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I like that. Yeah, very creative.
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Oh, thank you. I am in a creative swath right now. I think I want to ask you do you write notes on post it notes on your desk?
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Oh my gosh, it's terrible. I just cleaned it up. Actually, today. I have 12345678 not 10 Right now, on my desk. Amazing.
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I only have two. Oh, it's impressive. And well, it's because I just cleaned mine up too. And I got this little book from a work seminar thing I went to recently. And it's the perfect size book to put post it notes in Oh, so the ones that are like have important things like, you know, sayings that I liked or something that I like discovered in therapy, like, for example, multiple episodes ago, you helped me develop my like criteria through which I make decisions. Yep. And so I kept this post it note, it says Do you feel free? Do you want to do it? What does moose say? How does it feel in my body when I consider and can it be satisfactorily delegated? I mean, drop in some serious wisdom right here like that is how incredibly awesome your coaching skills are. Thank you.
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Well, you came up with those I did. Well, it might have been a part coaching and part friendship. Yeah, those are great questions. Do you use that?
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I know.
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I kind of figured I was gonna say, I know a couple things that you've done recently that you did not go through that list. No, I did. I didn't go through that list. And part of it is that is that I don't want to burden you because oh my gosh, look, everybody since last week thinks that I am just down in the dumps. You haven't believed already people have checked on me, which I do appreciate. Yeah.
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Me and my mom dropped some serious concern for you the other day.
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She was like, is she okay? And I was like, Mom, I don't know.
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We don't none of us do. Really?
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Fran, we don't know. So we're gonna get we're actually all not okay.
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Yeah, I mean, I'm just being truthful. The rest of us are just falling apart on the inside, I guess.
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Well, I remember I was thinking about my mom today, as a matter of fact, and I was thinking about how and this was like last probably about a year ago, because it was nice enough outside, that she was watering my flowers and bushes and stuff like that. So it was it must have been like spring, summer fall, something like that. And she just turned and looked at me and she goes cat. She goes, life is just hard, isn't it? And I said Yes, Mom It is. And it was like that one exchange, just communicated and understanding of just so much. You know, it's like, she's the one person on this planet who I have known the longest. Yeah, you know, and so it's like, yeah, thank you for saying that. Life is hard. And also it has these really beautiful moments. So of course, we don't want to forget that either. But it is hard. And I am okay. As far as today goes. This recording.
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You showed up? You're here. I can see your eyeballs.
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Yeah, we need to be concerned about where Sarah is, though.
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Right? It's very weird to say hey, cat, hey, moose, and not like hey, producer, Sarah.
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I know. So Sarah is on the road, live in the road life with an artist. And I believe she's in Texas as we speak. God bless her. God bless Texas.
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And I had an artist in Texas this week as well. And then Sarah and I were talking about how there's another artists we know that's in Texas, and somehow, all of us did not trample all over each other. And then again, Texas is really big.
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So nobody except those in the music industry know what that means?
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Can you explain?
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Oh, yeah, totally. So a lot of times there are touring markets where our artists will go and tour because we know from past experience that they have sold many tickets in a certain area.
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So for example, this week, I had clients in a suburb of Houston, and then a suburb of Corpus Christi. And this week, I don't know where in Texas, Sara and her artists are, but they were not in Corpus Christi or in Houston. And there was another artists that we knew was in like Dallas in in, like El Paso or something like that. And so it's like from a touring standpoint, if you tour in the same market around the same time, sometimes you kind of split the vote like you divide your ticket sales, and I'm really grateful that none of us did that. With each other this spring.
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Good job explaining that Professor cat Hey, thanks.
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Professor cat is back. It's been a minute it has been a professor cat needs her own song I really did. About it up. Yeah, Sarah, give us a little something even though you're not here. Cat, I the coolest thing has happened.
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You know, I'm in your this way too. But I just dig in to it almost every week. I am like a total data nerd. And I was looking at on the back end of who listens to the podcast. And I was looking at all these different countries and all these different cities. And I thought it would be really fun for us to pick a city. And if someone from that city can find a way to prove that they actually live there. It really you don't have to just be honest, you know, we we aren't really fact checkers that we could send them a cat moose t shirt and a cat moose sticker.
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Oh, I love that. I love that.
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And you you dropped some new merch recently. So it'll be fun to share those with people. So how do you want to play this game?
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Well, you I'm gonna let you pick and you can pick as many as you want. Well, don't go crazy because we buy the T shirts. But you know what I mean?
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So what what am I picking? Am I picking the city in the city?
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You're gonna pick us the city. These are all people who are listening to the podcast. And let's see 72 countries which is in sane. I didn't even know there were 72 countries in the world. I think there's over 300 Oh my god, I'm gonna I'm gonna Google it, sir.
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It's not here. Let me google it.
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How many countries are I am a set are there in the US? I'm in my master's program. You guys in the world? How many cut?
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Oh, 195.
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Wow. Okay, that is so funny.
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Wow. Because somebody showed me a video yesterday was something that I thought was not real. And it listed that 200 countries had signed up for this treaty.
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That's not real. There's only 195 in the world is the treaty about weather balloons or guns.
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Now it's way further down the rabbit hole and I was just being kind but Um, no.
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Okay, amazing. I really love seeing if you let me see again, where folks are listening to the cat and mouse podcast from Why sure cat let's swing on over here to this Google Chrome tab. And I'm I'm gonna do I'm gonna do a spin with my little mouse here. So you get to tell me what city and stop What city do you want to choose cat? Well, I see the Netherlands and then I see Mount Juliet, Tennessee. Those are not consistent. Well, okay, over here. The country's 72 of them and total. Yeah. And over here are the cities in the United States of America.
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Okay, well, I know who listens in Florence, Alabama. So I feel like it would be cheating for me to list that one. But mom and Truman, and who else in Florence listens. I'm not 100% Sure. So if if someone other than my mom or Truman writes in, say, Hey, I listen from Florence to I will definitely send you a t shirt.
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The town that I would like to choose from this list is Los Angeles, California who in LA is listening to the cat and mouse podcast.
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Okay. If you are from Los Angeles, California, we would love for you to text us at 186 6k at M oh five. Send us your address. We won't sign you up for anything. We'll just send you a t shirt. It's that simple, y'all.
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Yes, we will. And so let's let's spin the city's moose and here we go what you land on.
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Okay, let's see we got LA and stop. What will you choose?
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Well, this one's your turn.
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Oh, I'm choosing Yes. Okay. Oh, I didn't know I was choosing.
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That's great. I'm choosing okay.
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I We'd like to know if you are from if you're broadcasting and listening from the city of I'm gonna guess it's Islington, England. How would you say that?
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I haven't in UK, Arlington, UK, please write in at one eight success get at me oh five and we will send you that's not that's like Australia it's bad. It's bad. A T shirt.
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Well, we have a client that's going to England soon and it's gonna take it with it.
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I'm saying like, depending on who the listener is like, you might get it personally hand delivered. So, you know, if you're listening in, in your in the UK, definitely I would never give someone my address if that was a possibility.
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That's true, because one of your biggest fears is someone coming to the door. knocking on your door, right?
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Yeah. And it's funny because recently, I was hanging out in the garage, and we were cleaning and doing stuff and someone was walking towards the garage, the door was open. And I stopped what I was doing and ran inside and closed the door and locked it, which meant Sarah was actually in the garage still.
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And I just hear her like clicking. And it just was what I did. And I was like, oh, sorry, would you like to come into? But it was just Instacart it usually is just Instacart.
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Right? Right? Or like Uber Eats or Amazon or something like that. Yeah, yeah. So I mean, it can't be that bad. But I have trauma.
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I've got bad trauma. And I've told that story about the guy with the body asking for the body bags. Yes, sir. If we can find it. I don't know if we can but let's reference that episode.
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Oh, Lord, you're making her life. Hell she's on the road moose G Look, don't even somebody just Google. There's it's got to be in the notes if you do cat and moose bodybag.
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Yeah, if it's one of the weeks I actually made the notes, it's probably in there. And it's like spinning the roulette wheel if we if we actually complete our jobs each week. Yeah. And if we do if it happens in the same rhythm, I normally do mine. But if the rhythm gets off, I get super weird. And you know what I have to say about that cat? What the rhythm is gonna get? The rhythm is gonna get you are as evil as my younger sister tonight. That's for your sister.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, thank you for that news.
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And I hope that you appreciate that. And if you want me to go to yoga with you this week, do not play that song in the car.
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Okay, so one thing that I will say is that I have had a song in my head all day today. Oh, and consistent with our theme lately of closing out with a song. I'm going to close us out with that song at the end of this episode.
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It is so mean. It is so not fair. It is so like, if there is a way to get listeners to stop listening. I'm doing oh, gosh, should we? Yeah, I mean, chances are podcasts will skyrocket. And this will be the one thing right? That really it'll be the thing that that wins us our next signal word. So you were talking about somebody knocking on your door and your trauma around that. And I was in one of my many classes as we always take classes, and I was in a virtual class this week, and the instructor was talking about operating in one's area of expertise. You know, it's like, for example, as someone who is a manager in the music industry, it might be reasonable that I could be somewhat reasonably relied upon to give, you know, wisdom and advice about career direction for an artist like that would be something that's kind of in my wheelhouse. It's something that I do as a body worker, which I'm much newer to you. You know, my scope of practice is limited. It's like I'm not a psychologist, I am not a Structural Integration Specialist. I'm not any of those things. It's like I'm a body worker. And so she was talking about you know, being careful to operate within your scope of practice and it made me think about you and your coaching moose and and one of the things she said really was profound to me, she said when you are not at home, be very polite.
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Wait, why? Like I mean, I yeah, I agree. But talk to me, I think like metaphorically she's saying when you are not operating at the core of your area of expertise, be really put Light because you don't know what you don't know. You know, to me, it kind of said, if you're not within your scope of practice, be really humble and don't try to reach outside of your scope of practice in order to do with it. Yeah. And so I was wondering if you've had any moments in your coaching career so far, where you feel like oh, my gosh, like, what what is being asked of me right now is something that feels outside of my, my, you know, my teaching my skill set my scope of practice? Have you had anything like that?
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Yeah, absolutely. I have to talk about it, too, but I mean, that's normally how conversations go.
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Yeah, I had an experience where, yeah, the person that I was coaching was very shut down.
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And, you know, to the point that I had to actually ask the question, what brought you here?
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Because I didn't feel like they wanted to be there. So yeah, that's the one that stands out to me. I've also had very emotional ones, where I'm barely holding it together as well. And but I do because I know, that's what my job is to not get too entangled. How about you?
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Yeah, I think for me, like, the biggest thing has been like the asking of advice. Yeah. It's like, what do you think I should do? And it's like, I am trained to basically get that person to redirect that question to within their own cells within their own body. Yeah, same here. Yeah. You know, so it's like it. Yeah, it's a very similar modality in that way. And so I also remember you saying a couple of weeks ago on the podcast, about, you know, people who are coaches, or therapists, or, you know, body workers, or whatever it is, it's like, there's also a desire on behalf of the client, to like, can you please just drop all your wisdom on me practitioner?
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Like, can you please just pull back like, like, there are times where I wish that, you know, in the past that my, whether it's a therapist or practitioner, it's like, I wish they would just go, hang on, we're not going to be in this appointment right now.
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You need to fucking change what you're doing here, because this is really stupid, are you being really whatever. And while that wouldn't be therapeutic, there is kind of a desire for it. And there's also like, a reason for that boundary is because as practitioners, like, the goal is to support the client, it's not to, to bestow your, you know, morals or your, you know, understandings or whatever on the client, that's not your job, it's like, your job is to help them figure it out for themselves, you know, and that that goes back to, you know, again, a practice of humility.
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Yeah. You know, it's like, I'm not here to fix this person. I'm here to just support this person and help them figure their their stuff out.
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Well, you know, it's interesting, I just saw this thing on Instagram, and it was a Rick Rubin interview. And he was talking about creativity. And it sort of it ties in exactly to what you're saying. But his whole point was like, you can ask advice from people. And they may give you really good advice, but it's not good advice for you. It's just generally, they've put together over years of experience, pretty good advice. And so it really, and obviously, we have a certain code, we have to like practice by, but even bigger than that process, I think it makes a ton of sense of like, Why in the world? Would I tell you what's best for you when I don't live inside of your body? Right?
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Right. Yeah.
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Yeah. I mean, that's a that's a really, I think that that takes an element of integrity and an element of maturity, an element of intention, like I think that that's, it's hard. I'm finding it hard in my life to not treat everybody it at least like as far as the language I use in the way that I approach everybody to not treat everybody almost as if they were a client. Like it's like I find that the people closest to me in my life are really annoyed by Well, what do you think, you know, would be best for you in that like, know what yeah, that doesn't necessarily work and relationships. It no it doesn't. People are like, No, I'm having this conversation with you. Because I want to know what you think cat you know, and it's like, okay, like, so how do I shift gears from Yeah, oh, my gosh, I don't want to get like, you know, disbarred or unlicensed or whatever it is by offering advice and it's like, wait a minute, you're not touching somebody and this is a person that your friend that's just asking what you think like yeah, like it's been hard for me to shift gears back and forth in this season. And I think that's, that's somewhat normal.
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I think that's great. It means that you're practicing as much as you are living, which I'm not doing right now and I need to be no poor me, ma'am. I coach you, you touch me. Okay. Okay. Like kind of couldn't have been more perfect.
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That's amazing.
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Okay, so I have named myself Cabbage Patch Kid for the podcast this week because I'm still wearing the good old pirate patch on my left eye.
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Because of some by the way that is extremely creative Cabbage Patch Kid. Oh, thank you. I need to take a let's do a photo. Here I go.
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Are you done? Yeah.
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It wasn't good. So you still have your passion your I did you buy that? Is that a situation?
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I'm circling it with my mouse by the way?
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Yes, I did buy this. This is this little like, kind of like, thing. Oh, cool. That, that you slip over. And now I can't see because I took my glasses off.
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But good. Yeah, this is this story of my life for the past couple of weeks. So yeah, so this patch goes over my left eye. And I should get my new glasses on Tuesday of this week.
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Oh, thank goodness. And as long as they've been manufactured properly, which I've learned has been at about a 60% success rate. I should be I should be rockin and rollin this week.
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Well, good news. I'm so glad. I thought you called yourself Cabbage Patch Kid because you took that Sharpie you've been swinging around and signed your ass with it. By the way, isn't that weird? Kim? Like, oh, are you gonna do that? No, don't.
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patrons that is your dollar that you're paying. Congratulations.
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Those of you who pay more. Thank you. Yeah, you got to see my but I mean, we totally saw crack.
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Just say, you know, oh, yeah, good.
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Yeah. No, I would I did it intentionally. Excellent. Um, um, what were we talking about before the crack? Oh, why? Why do we have a doll that has a signature on its butt. That's odd.
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It is odd. It's super weird. And it's super weird that it was so popular for so long. And that now, in some circles, like those things are worth lots of money.
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It's kind of like, why do people pay for precious moments? Dolls?
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Like Oh, no.
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Are those still a thing? And remember, when? What were those little beanie babies God help them eat drive past like a car on the highway. And there'd be like, 300 in the window. And you're like, I wonder why you have allergies. Dust on those things.
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Right? Right. And now there's a thing for my mom is a is a jeep driver. My mom has a Jeep Wrangler, she she's always wanted a jeep and, and she has a jeep. And now there's a thing with people who drive Jeeps where it says you've been duct?
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And I've heard of that. Yeah. So you you buy these little. I mean, there's like all kinds of stuff on the internet about it.
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Like you buy these little plastic rubber duckies that are like the duckies that float in the pool, or in the bathtub. And if you see someone driving a Jeep, and you're driving a jeep, you're supposed to throw a duck at the person in the jeep. And there are some people and I'll send it I'll send you way, way, way, way. You're, you throw it at the vehicle.
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Yeah, you throw it because Jeeps typically have windows open and tops open and stuff like that.
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So you throw in the jeep. Yeah, you throw it into their vehicle, and then they add it to their collection that ends up looking like what you're talking about.
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Some people have a lot of ducks.
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Oh, people keep them and oh, gosh, Lord have mercy. Yeah, um, you know, I always want my life really simple. And I wish that I was the person that invented those ducks. Like, that's all I want.
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I want to have one idea that works. You know what I mean?
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Like one idea, and it just works for my whole life. And then I can spend the rest of my life just staring at birds and looking through my telescope and pondering life's mysteries like that. i Why can I not have just like the duck idea?
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Well, the thing is, is you have had the duck idea. It's called the cat and mouse podcast, and it's just not it's still in incubation. Well, I need our listeners to throw some ducks in each other's Jeeps that have a catenary sticker on it so that more people can find out and this can be my full time job. That's all Yeah, yeah. If you like our podcast, please tell people about it.
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That would be amazing. Cannot take us on a little bit of a serious turn. Yeah, but I want to share some some things too. Oh, I've been talking the whole fucking time. Sorry.
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I know you get cut. I'm joking.
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Go ahead. Nope. Oh, I sent you down. Yeah.
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I was just trying to keep things moving man and I sometimes I do that and I've hurt up cat. There's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong.
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No. Please go. No. Dammit. I know that feeling. Let's just take a second.
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Let's just take a second and see what it's like to sit with that feeling. Are you okay to sit with that feeling cat? I guess I am I'm going to feel really sad.
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And that will be a genuine transition into what I was going to say. mousse with your potato chips you get to eat now while I continue to talk more, I'm gonna eat my feelings, right? This this special. This special announcement is sponsored by Lay's classic chips, where you can eat one and a half ounces for 240 calories. I just think that's unfair. It's like why can I eat a whole giant family size bag for that many calories like it's just not fair. So what I was gonna say is in all seriousness, I would love to on behalf of myself cat and moose and producer Sarah and everyone who is a part of the cat and mouse podcast community. I just want to offer our most sincere condolences and sympathy for the victims and in everyone who has been affected by the shooting at covenant Christian School here in Nashville this past week. We all know a lot of people who are super connected with that incident and in many different ways in just want to really say that, that we love you. And we're so so sorry and are grieving alongside you and the ways that we know how and the Nashville Communities Putting together a concert to benefit covenant Christian school and its families at the Ryman Auditorium on Wednesday night, April the 12th. And there'll be more information coming out about that this week. And also to say too, I learned from a friend. Well, actually, I want to start I want to give space for you to respond there.
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Um, yeah, I I don't know what to say about this. You know, I mean, I've been grieving as have all of Nashville, it's been a very difficult week, I had a friend whose three kids were in the school, and, and then a few distant acquaintances and stuff that had kids there, but someone very close to us and, and the industry that we work, and I'll say that, um, and I just can't I can't imagine. I can't imagine that happening. And I don't understand why this is a problem we can't fix as a country, you know, and although I want to stay here in the in the weird morning thing, I can't not say that, you know, like, it's I'm very aware of what I'm saying here. But I just think it's um, I think we we have to do everything we can to vote the right people in that will protect our kids. And that that needs to be an issue that we as constituents ask our public officers about is how are you going to protect our kids?
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Because right now, it's the number one killer of our kids is gun.
00:28:54.809 --> 00:29:18.779
Yeah. Yeah, I saw that today, too. It's crazy. But yes, I I too, am in mourning. I am am sad. It's been an honor to hear all the stories of those who passed away what kind of lives they lived and, and for the kids like, what kind of amazing little spirits that they had.
00:29:14.099 --> 00:29:18.779
But yeah, it it hit our town.
00:29:19.500 --> 00:29:26.309
Yeah, yeah, it did. And it's like, there's something to be said for when a tragedy happens.
00:29:22.710 --> 00:29:38.640
It's like I think of something like 911 or I think of, of the other mass shootings that have happened and I don't, I don't say that like is a broad stroke lightly like each and every one of them are so significant.
00:29:39.450 --> 00:30:24.000
There is something different, when it is my community when it is my people when it is people with whom I have deep, long standing relationships with and and hearing about their fear of taking their children to school and you know, having family members that have to operate within that fear. And there is a lady who made a brilliant post on Instagram. Her name is sissy Goff. And she gave a lot of really poignant pointers, if you will, on how to talk about this with your, your kids and your family. And so we'll post that in our resources on the cat and mouse podcast, website, cat and mouse podcast.com.
00:30:27.210 --> 00:30:40.710
Okay, cat, I have a way to solve all your problems. Oh, thank God, I know like this is gonna change your life. This is what I've been waiting for. It's not a multilevel marketing campaign.
00:30:40.740 --> 00:30:58.559
Nothing against that, but it is not for those of you who are afraid to keep listening, nor is this an ad. This is just my voice. Okay, so the areas where you get stuck, I can help you completely overcome them. Okay.
00:30:52.769 --> 00:30:59.369
I wish I could be this confident with my coaching.
00:31:01.259 --> 00:31:03.690
You can you can?
00:31:04.049 --> 00:31:21.180
Okay, so I was telling you before we started recording that that when you have aha was in the end your work like you were talking about? Can you explain what's happening behind you? For those who are looking at the the video?
00:31:21.660 --> 00:31:29.579
Yeah, I'll do the thing that I was taught and radio to never do and talk about what I can see in my space while nobody listening can see it.
00:31:29.970 --> 00:31:34.289
But see, I disagree with that.
00:31:29.970 --> 00:32:13.349
If you're a great storyteller, you bring it to life, which you are. Oh, well. Okay, then now all of a sudden, I feel really confident want to stick my chest out. Okay to put that trust out there. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna put it out there. And everything's in line with the nipple line, man. It's amazing. Wow, that poll that means something in acupressure theory. So I'm sure it does. We you show us on your model. Yes. Okay. Bring her over. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Dadda Dadda Dadda cat is currently bringing the model towards us and centering it in the video frame.
00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:20.670
And on the bottle. It's a white model. She's naked. And she's probably six foot tall. And she's different colors. stickers all over her.
00:32:20.940 --> 00:32:30.089
Yes, yes, she does in let me get to where I can show that. So it's hard to see there. Right up here. There are yellow stickers.
00:32:30.390 --> 00:32:35.670
Cat is currently touching above the right breast of the model.
00:32:36.750 --> 00:32:41.549
And if you look here, here, here, here, here here.
00:32:41.640 --> 00:32:42.990
That's the nipple line.
00:32:43.230 --> 00:32:50.640
If you look down here, yes. This is what is referred to as the nipple line in is it? does it align above your nipple?
00:32:51.180 --> 00:32:56.339
Well, most typically, in specifically do you mean tick?
00:32:56.369 --> 00:32:59.369
Typically? Most most typically?
00:32:56.369 --> 00:33:11.460
It totally eight year old boys right every time? Yeah. My 12 year old. I don't think eight year olds are Yeah, I think 1112 Because this is how my nephew and I talk right now.
00:33:11.460 --> 00:33:22.980
So and he's 11. So So basically, what am I explaining the nipple line? You tried to replace tit and typically is where we ended last?
00:33:23.009 --> 00:34:25.349
Yeah, yeah. So I'm typically in this is just my experience with Chinese medicine. It may be much broader than this. But my understanding is that on most male bodies, the quote unquote nipple line is right in line with the pupil of the eye. Oh, and so. So there is in an energy flow, a meridian flow, if you will. It's the stomach energy flow, that that basically goes from the bottom of the orbit of the eye, all the way down the leg, blah, blah, blah, anyway, acupressure theory. Anyway, I have this mannequin that I bought from the internet. And I've been marking her with dots and, and I feel really smart because of it. And I've had help. I've not done all of this by myself. But the dots the dot placement I did by myself. Well, you've done a great job. Thank you. I'm working on her being the ultimate model for a future class that I'm going to teach in like 10 years when I get certified.
00:34:25.860 --> 00:34:38.309
I love it. I have a whole thing that we want me to talk about about our going to classes thing but another for another day. So back to solving your problems.
00:34:34.110 --> 00:34:58.409
So you were talking about like you with acupuncture, acupressure, excuse me. And bodywork that was having these aha and I have I've been studying the Work of Byron Katie for almost two years now. And some people have already heard me talk about this. If you don't know what it is go Google it.
00:34:54.150 --> 00:35:47.610
But I had this aha today. I wasn't even studying I was I was, let's just say meditating with Yeah, just incense and things like that. I was just like and guidance guided meditation guided metta. Thank you guided meditation. And and this is what I wrote out. I literally wrote it down in like 20 seconds. Okay, so I'm gonna read it to you Well, I'm gonna walk you through it. Oh good, but it has some Byron Katie elements. I mean, it's the same idea as Byron Katie's work, but I'm not calling it mine. Let me just say I'm making. It's like a spiff off of hers. Is that the right word? A spoof, or like a spin off a spin a spin, it's a spin. It's a spin off of hers.
00:35:47.699 --> 00:35:49.949
A spoof would be kind of more like a joke.
00:35:49.980 --> 00:35:53.579
No, not joking. Okay. Yeah. So, are you ready?
00:35:53.909 --> 00:35:55.170
I'm ready. All right.
00:35:55.260 --> 00:35:56.909
We're gonna do this in real time.
00:35:57.119 --> 00:36:00.900
Okay, I'm ready for my life to be completely changed from this moment forward.
00:36:01.530 --> 00:36:11.250
I would like for you to think about somebody who annoys the shit out of you. I worked this through on my own and coached myself, and I think it's gonna work.
00:36:11.340 --> 00:36:12.150
Okay. Okay.
00:36:12.179 --> 00:36:14.909
I've thought of this person.
00:36:12.179 --> 00:37:04.889
Okay, I want you to get a good picture, picture their face. And now play in, in your memory, something that they have done or said that drives you mad? Yes, I have it. Okay, so think about that. Yep. So feel the feeling in your body. And then I want you in your mind to see like, one, two and three. And I want you to write in your mind. Three words that describe the feeling you have in your body. And you could tell us if you'd like it. If you stop it, stop at mine. We're hot, wild and anger. So there you go. Oh, that doesn't sound all bad news.
00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:18.389
That's Well, wasn't that kind of hot? It was my body was very warm. All right, go back to your feeling. Okay. Have that feeling rushing through your veins?
00:37:13.380 --> 00:37:18.389
Okay. Like it all the IQ?
00:37:18.929 --> 00:37:24.059
picture them doing it? Oh, okay.
00:37:18.929 --> 00:37:48.840
And now I want you to try and name what it is that they do that drives you wild. And I'll give you an example. It could be they make everything about themselves. I cannot stand when they passive aggressively asked for things like what is that thing for you? They call me a name. That really is it feels icky and degrading to me. Okay.
00:37:49.110 --> 00:37:54.780
Okay. So they call you a name?
00:37:49.110 --> 00:37:56.190
Is it an overall behavior? Like, what does that feel like?
00:37:56.849 --> 00:37:59.550
I know, I'm going to be greeted by this person in this way.
00:38:00.090 --> 00:38:10.079
Okay. All right. Okay. What is it about them doing this? That is upsetting?
00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:12.300
I don't feel respected.
00:38:12.750 --> 00:38:22.739
Okay. All right. You don't feel respected? Okay. Why do you think they do this?
00:38:23.400 --> 00:38:40.860
I think that it is their way to try and make me feel in community with them. I think it is their way to try and go like, like you and me like, we're buds. Like, that's kind of what this is. I think that it is in an effort for that. Okay.
00:38:41.519 --> 00:38:49.860
Um, you you have experienced that need to want to be close to someone and say something or do something in order to do it.
00:38:49.949 --> 00:39:08.309
Oh, my God. Oh, yes. Yes. Like, I have a few relationships in my life where I do that I try and let people know, hey, I want you to know that I know something about your life. And I do it in a way that it's like, it's like that's not yes. So yes. Guilty.
00:39:08.340 --> 00:39:10.139
Yes, I definitely do that.
00:39:10.800 --> 00:39:20.460
What's the whole spot? You got it thing that Sara always says, But you answered the next question, which is when you feel that way, how do you act out?
00:39:16.949 --> 00:39:42.570
And you just said for you? It's saying that you know something about that person? Yeah. And then the last question is, is there and this goes way slower than this, but this I believe this is gonna change lives. It's changing lives. It's Byron, Katie, but a few interesting questions in there that create y statements. Is there something that this person is leading with that you are hiding?
00:39:44.070 --> 00:39:51.300
Is there do you need me to explain that more as we go ahead? I think I have but yes, it'd be great.
00:39:52.019 --> 00:40:34.019
Okay. So in my example, and the I am testing this to see if it works in every example and I example, the person I was struggling with, the one thing that they were putting forward, I would say is probably what I would call ego or pride. And yet, they're very much like, I need everyone to see me. And so I would say they're putting that forward where I'm holding it back. Is that balance that that distance in those two things?
00:40:34.320 --> 00:40:40.110
What separates us? And am I actually wanting more of what they seem to have?
00:40:42.059 --> 00:41:23.849
You know, what's weird? Is that is that the I actually thought of, of two people and two things that that these two people consistently do. And the reality is, is that their language, at least in my perception, their language is trying to make me feel like in community with them, like, like, I belong, like, Hey, you're you and me, we're like on the same team. And all I really want from those people is to feel that interesting. But I don't feel that I don't I feel an attempt toward making me feel that way.
00:41:19.980 --> 00:41:47.429
But it's like, like, these people don't actually make me feel that way. And so their behavior like repulses me, because I'm like, wait a minute, you. We're not We're not in community, like we're not I mean, we're in community, but it's like, we're not bros. Like, we're not like hanging on the same level. It's like you, you and I are not on the same page.
00:41:42.719 --> 00:42:06.360
And I really longed to be like, I wish that we were but it's just like, what may? What would make you feel like, which is the thing you wish? What would make you feel like you're a part of that community? If they cared? Of so?
00:41:59.340 --> 00:42:16.079
Oh, so this isn't really about them annoying you it's that they're not giving you what you want? 100% I mean, it is about them annoying you? I mean, I Yeah, I hear what you're saying.
00:42:16.619 --> 00:42:31.050
But yeah, they're treating me with language that that identifies me as a bra like as a ume man. And I'm like, No, not you and me. Like because you don't, you're starting to sound like an Enneagram eight cat.
00:42:34.559 --> 00:42:48.599
I mean, it sounds to me like you're protecting yourself from because you don't think they want to get close. So you're protecting yourself in case they try to. We've turned this into a whole other coaching session.
00:42:49.019 --> 00:42:53.519
We really have we should do this more often. And not for the whole world. Do.
00:42:54.869 --> 00:43:00.000
I want to finish this though?
00:42:54.869 --> 00:43:21.690
Okay, this is juicy. Okay, so you what, okay, what practically? Because, you know, I don't know much about the situation, and I don't want you to reveal it. So be careful. You know, I understand you have to be careful with details. But what practically would make you feel like you're a part of the group? Besides just like, I want to belong? Like, what does that look like?
00:43:21.780 --> 00:44:14.400
I think if it felt to me, like the other party, actually genuinely had concern and compassion and empathy and wanted to hear from me, not just me, that serves a purpose for for these people. You know, and in both the people I'm thinking about, like, I'm an I'm a, I'm a key player in in a lot of what goes on in their world, you know, and so it's like, it's like, okay, like, Well, if that's true, like, and you're going to try to make me feel like we're like, kind of at one with one another. Like, asked me about, like, I'm wearing a pirate patch, like what's up?
00:44:09.210 --> 00:44:33.059
Oh, you Yeah, I see. You know, it's like, I have a body that is going through midlife, like what's up, like, I'm dealing with, you know, having one parent who has passed and one parent who is still alive, like, what up? You know, it's like, I just I don't I don't get much of that.
00:44:33.780 --> 00:44:55.380
And what happens if you continue to not get much of that? I just feel resentful. Yeah. Well it's the only time I can do that. I can't really do it and I coach.
00:44:51.000 --> 00:45:08.460
Well, there it is. Well, there is folks. There's there's resentment rearing its ugly head. That's right. And maybe I am an eight with a really solid No, you're not an eight because you care. You still care.
00:45:12.780 --> 00:45:30.300
Listen, you're describing something that I I'm right over here writing down like what is this thing of, of wanting other people's attention that she speaks of? Don't have that. So, yeah, there was a while there were I was convinced you were an eight. But I don't think you are.
00:45:30.599 --> 00:46:00.869
Yeah. Well, I'll just sit here and my little miserable, swirling around the drain have a to just be okay. Okay, let me think how I would handle that in a coaching session, though. Because, and I know, we, we've played content here for a podcast, but, um, I guess, okay, let me step away from the coach thing as your friend what I want to say and I'm trying not say, but I've switched roles.
00:46:01.800 --> 00:46:39.480
Excellent. Excellent. Do we have a dual relationship right now this we do? We do. Okay, so as an eight, this is what I really want to say you can I'm not saying it's right. But I want to say why the fuck would you spend time on people who aren't asking, like don't care more? Right? You know, and I'm not saying I know, eights are black and white. And we're like, you're either in or you're out? Yeah, you know, but in some ways, like, and yeah, I understand because this person can't this person can't. They're already part of your life in a certain area, I'm guessing.
00:46:39.570 --> 00:46:44.639
Right? And then you're, you know, why doesn't that flip flop over? I get that.
00:46:45.809 --> 00:46:49.590
Yeah, it's, it's really hard.
00:46:45.809 --> 00:47:08.309
And the answer to that I would offer to you in a coaching session, like I won't offer it to you, yeah, publicly, like on the podcast. And it will probably be very healing for me to do that. So let's have a coaching session. We're because it's, that's, it's really like, it's, it's something that I see in multiple areas of my life.
00:47:08.670 --> 00:47:23.159
Like, like I see it, I'm seeing a pattern where it's like, oh, there's, there's this thing, where I don't feel like the homeostasis, if you will, of the relationship is really balanced.
00:47:23.159 --> 00:47:49.110
I feel like it's, there's a power differential, you know, much like with therapist and client, and I'm not talking about a therapeutic situation, by the way, just to be super clear. So I don't get D licensed or whatever. But But yeah, it's like, it's almost like there's a power differential that I go, like, if you are not going to be at this level with me, do not talk to me and treat me as if we are at this level together.
00:47:49.710 --> 00:48:06.179
Leave your heart out, like leave that part out. Because just acknowledge that it is what it is. And um, yeah, I would have thought I would agree with that. And I think, yeah, and I know you've got boundaries around all of that.
00:48:06.179 --> 00:48:08.070
But yeah, we should tackle that.
00:48:08.099 --> 00:48:45.719
Well, we should. And it's one of those things where I can hear my my bodywork practitioners voice in the back of my head right now going, you can ask for what you need. Like, like in these relationships, you can ask for what you need, you can say that, like I said, I'm thinking of two different people. You can say to each person one at a time, I would prefer that you not address me that way. Yeah, it bugs the hell out of me. I don't even have to give the deep reasoning of like, oh, it's because I don't think you care about my soul and blah, blah, blah, blah, like, No, I can just go like, please do not address me that way. I do not like it.
00:48:41.849 --> 00:49:19.530
Right? Like that. It's that simple. And like you said, I have boundaries. But I but I don't in these instances, and I'm, I'm gonna barrel into this week setting some boundaries. It sounds like well, for what it's worth, like, I can be all big and bad. But when it comes to fighting for myself, I have the same issues like so my real name, as most people know, is Andreea. And most people pronounce it Andrea or Andrea Morris some other way that is not how I pronounce it.
00:49:14.849 --> 00:49:45.539
And the way I see it is if I'm actually going to have a relationship with you, I'll correct you. But if this is the only time I'm going to meet you, I'm fine with you calling me whatever you want. But the funniest thing is I have more friends of mine who are with me when someone pronounces it wrong. That will say it's Andreea in order to like get it in there, you know? Yeah. So I understand the issue with boundaries. Also, this reminds me of something we used to do.
00:49:41.909 --> 00:49:57.780
When I was doing Enneagram training. We do this thing at the end of a weekend, we would just get in a circle and face each other and sort of honor everything that we had walked through together that weekend.
00:49:58.170 --> 00:50:56.010
And one of the questions that was asked is We go around the circle, there's probably like 35 people in there. And, and you were asked, Who in this room has inspired you? And, and showed you something new from their Enneagram type that you can potentially borrow. And that's like, my favorite thing about the Enneagram is, you know, so many people can make it stereotypical. And, you know, that can be fun and cute and annoying at times. But also, like, it's a system where you can look and go, Hey, I don't know what it's like to operate like that. But I'm gonna borrow I do this all the time when I need to be like, courageous. I'm like, what would a three do right here? And not all threes are just like badass is but I'm like, most people probably look at eight. But it's been a hard life guys. Cover that beginning.
00:50:56.039 --> 00:50:59.670
You are rocking it though.
00:50:56.039 --> 00:50:59.670
Moose. Come on. You're amazing.
00:50:59.670 --> 00:51:00.480
You're awesome.
00:51:00.628 --> 00:51:13.528
But I think it's a moment where we can. There's times in our lives where we can be like, Okay, I have this friend even if you don't know Enneagram where you can be like, and they are incredible at this and this way.
00:51:10.289 --> 00:51:17.039
How can I take that same courage from them? So maybe we can do that this week?
00:51:17.130 --> 00:51:34.949
Yeah, it's like let's let's be absolute energy vampires, and let's look for people's gifts and skills and talents that we can completely prey upon. Wait, I don't want to be a vampire.
00:51:31.199 --> 00:51:39.750
That means that I owe somebody No, I don't either.
00:51:39.780 --> 00:51:46.530
I'm like, are they going to come back and suck my blood? Because I don't have any left. Can we cover that?
00:51:47.099 --> 00:51:53.579
We did. You've only got three essential organs left. I love you mus.
00:51:53.670 --> 00:52:01.619
I love you too. And we miss you, Sarah, we miss you. Miss you guys. Thanks for editing and being an amazing producer.
00:52:01.739 --> 00:52:05.550
Thanks everyone. And you're welcome. Have a great week.
00:52:14.400 --> 00:52:16.679
Special thanks to our producer Sarah Reed.
00:52:17.070 --> 00:52:20.550
To find out more go to cat and nurse podcast.com.
00:52:31.079 --> 00:52:32.880
News is a BP production
