Transcript
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Welcome to the Cat and Moose podcast.
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I'm Cat.
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And I'm Moose.
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This is a true life podcast where we explore the quirks of being human.
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Hey Cat, hey Moose Sarah's not here.
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She's in the lovely country of Australia.
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And I'm just noticing a pattern.
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Well, I would agree if it wasn't her job, if she's just in different countries, running away from us, right?
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Which, as far as we know, that may be what's happening.
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She did leave right before the election.
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To a country with a socialist economy.
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Oh man she was sending me pictures of she's already in love with Brisbane.
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Is she in Brisbane or Melbourne?
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I don't know One of them.
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No, I think Brisbane it she in Brisbane or Melbourne?
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I don't know One of them.
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No, I think Brisbane it's Melbourne.
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I just want to know if she's met Kathy.
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No, she's not gotten to.
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Sydney yet.
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Oh, okay, but she really wants to see Kathy.
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That would be cool man.
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I hope that they get to meet so bad and I hope that, kathy, if you're still listening God love you, man, and I hope that, kathy, if you're still listening.
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God love you, man.
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So last week we recorded an episode.
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If you're a patron, you received that episode and maybe you made your way through it.
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We don't know.
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If you're not a patron, we didn't release that episode.
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So, as you can imagine, it's been a week and a half or two.
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I can't even keep up anymore.
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Um, but the election happened, yeah, is there anything you want to say about?
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that I mean, there's so much I want to say about it and yet nothing I want to say about it, you know.
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I feel the same way.
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I put up my Christmas tree this week, this week, uh, just because I needed something happy in my life.
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I am unhappy with the results.
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I'll go ahead and say that that is not who I voted for.
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Yes, I am as well, and uh, yeah, I mean I.
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I'll just let's just get it out of the way real quick and feel free to skip if you do not want to hear this, yeah, skip it.
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If you hate politics stuff, just forward, forward, forward forward.
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Absolutely Right.
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So just real quick.
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Let's do a quick recap.
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I want to say this I feel like I'm skipping from one cult to another in my life.
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You know, now we're under the leadership of this Hoo ha.
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Um, well, let me say this Uh, it's sobering for me to think that this is America.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, uh, and I I won't make a whole lot of judgment, I won't do a whole lot of name calling at all because, um, you know, I've got friends who voted for trump, I've got uh it's so hard for me to even talk about, but, um, I guess for me the hardest thing is that, uh, people I love, who uh are female, who are people of color, who are people, people a part of the LGBTQ plus community, it breaks my heart that, for them mostly, that like, here we are again.
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That's what I want to say and what do you think?
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I'm curious, like, what you think of of those groups of people that you just mentioned, like why, why, in your opinion, is it worse for them than everybody else?
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Well, because he Trump does not prioritize at all the rights of women.
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Right.
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The rights of people of color Right or the rights of LGBTQ plus people.
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So I mean, in an instant, we could see equality of marriage go away.
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I mean, right now, california, hawaii and one other state codified it I think I don't even know if that's the right language but that it would have to stay in those states.
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That was a part of the ballot already.
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Which is smart of them.
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Which is smart of them, um, and yeah, I just I worry because, especially people who live in the South, like it's a, it feels harder here.
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I will say that, um, it feels more oppressive in some ways and, um, when you see your state turn red year after year after year, I do think it is uh, it can be exhausting and we have to take care of our mental health and we have to decide what we watch and we don't watch and what we consume.
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Um, here's where I've landed.
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You can tune in now.
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This is the positive part.
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Here's where I've landed.
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You need a chapter marker right here.
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Yeah, put a chapter marker.
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Hey, ai, put a chapter marker right here, right here.
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Um, so where I've landed is what can I control at this point?
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Because I, I'm going to keep grieving.
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However I need to grieve, I'm going to process it, whatever.
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But here's the positive piece is what is it that I can do to resist or to progress myself in a way that, um, that feels like resistance, because I, you know, I'm naturally somebody who wants to fight back.
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Yeah.
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The name of my company has the word boxer in it.
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You know what I mean.
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Like I like to fight and so um.
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So I'm I'm sort of meditating on that, like what does it look like for?
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me to.
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How do I become so incredibly vocal in a loving way, you know and also become an advocate in my own life, like that's really what I can control?
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I love that.
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I think that that's really, um, that's great perspective.
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And you know, me and and I mean all of us are like this.
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All of us meaning you, me and producer Sarah I'm talking about the three of us that are the cat and moose podcast Um, we all enjoy perspective, like we enjoy kind of going.
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Huh, I didn't think of it that way.
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Um, and, and that's what I've been searching for the most, you know, is like what is the what is, what is perspective that I can take into consideration?
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And one of the things that I've really appreciated is I have several people in my life who have said you know, I'm really sad about this, I'm worried about our country, et cetera, et cetera.
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And I have people in my family and I have people in my friend circle who voted Republican and I just need some perspective from them.
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You know, and, and I really, and I feel similarly, you know, and I've got family members that I'm I'm close with that I can say we don't, we know, we don't agree, so let's, let's start the conversation there.
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So this is not a fight, it's not an argument and we don't need to get fired up about it.
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Just give me your perspective, because I, we just don't see eye to eye on this, you know, and it's like that's.
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That's what I keep trying to gain is is.
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I just want to gain some perspective.
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And also, it's kind of funny that you say like I'm going to just focus on what I can control, because that's been the narrative of everybody I've talked to, regardless of which side everybody I've talked to, regardless of which side you know, of the you know political space they stand.
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It's like I, the only thing I can control is me, you know.
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And so it's like the thing that I've considered is I'm like well, there's a lot of people in my circle who have kind of talked about dabbling with this healing arts thing.
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Like maybe I'll come, get on your table, like maybe I'll book a session, like maybe I can try out this body work thing.
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Whether it's with me or with another practitioner, I really don't care.
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It's like if this is one more like avenue toward people being able to go, I'm vulnerable, I don't know what to do, I'm freaked out.
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It's like okay, then that's somewhere to start your healing journey, you know, and if that has to, whether it has to do with politics or whatever it is, it's like okay, like let's start somewhere, you know.
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And so to me it's like I feel like might there be an even greater opportunity for healing in this next season of time for us and for our country?
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And and what does that look like?
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You know, and I have, how can we know?
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We have no idea.
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We can't predict the future.
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We certainly couldn't predict the election.
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No, we could not.
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It's funny Cause the day of like I felt so confident, not like cocky, I just had peace.
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I was like.
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Oh, this is going to be all right.
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Like we're going to finally have a woman who is president, which is listen, if you do not choose to identify as female.
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I don't think you can understand that, Just like I can't understand what it was like when we had the first black president, you know, but like there is a child inside of me.
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That was like this is going to be it.
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Yeah, and I thought, I honestly thought a woman of character, a woman who feels joyful, not just like this, you know, stoic like I was, like Kamala, is the perfect person for this.
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Yeah, I mean her Saturday night live skit with Maya Rudolph was just so endearing, you know it's like she can laugh at herself Like that's cool.
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It's great, I know, I just I loved her and and that she's a woman of color that you know.
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Just so much of it.
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I was like here we go, and then, when it didn't happen, it it I'll tell you what it felt like.
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And this is going deep.
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And look, this is what we got today.
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It felt like there was a time my dad was supposed to come pick me and my sister up and I sat by the window the entire day and my mom started realizing he may not be coming and I thought, oh, no, no, no, no, and I was making up excuse after excuse, like kind of like, as I were seeing all of the red States coming in and and Trump winning, I was like, oh, oh, it's okay, we still have a shot over here in the sunbelt.
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And you know, yeah, yeah, but it felt like my dad never came to pick me up, like it was like that same guttural feeling of like something must be wrong here.
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Yeah, yeah, why would America let me down?
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Right, right, it's, it's.
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It's weird, like hearing you say that.
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It made me remember the moment that I learned that my dad had passed away, and how that felt in my body.
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I mean, it is like my entire, like my entire system like just hit the floor, yeah, you know.
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And then it's like, because my system is so resilient and my body is so for me like I picked my shit up and got it together as quick as possible, but it's like that feeling of like, yeah, it's just like whoa.
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And I remember, you know, talking with friends about, oh, the red mirage.
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This always happens Like at the beginning of the.
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You know talking with friends about, oh, the red mirage.
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This always happens Like at the beginning of the.
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You know the counts coming in.
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It looks like, oh, it's going to be overwhelmingly Republican and then it's going to that's, that's just a mirage, it's just going to go away.
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And it kept happening like it kept.
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I was like this is not a mirage anymore, like there's actually a lake in the desert.
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I think Like actually a lake in the desert.
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I think Like, I think that's what's happening here and, um, you know what?
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I hope that there are some great changes.
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You know, it's like I've heard things like you know who's going to be put in charge of the FDA and who's going to be put in charge of cleaning house in the government and stuff like that, and it's like maybe some good stuff is going to happen.
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I don't know.
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Well, and that's where we you're right.
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We can't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
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And look, I don't think there's much around Trump that is positive.
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However, there may be really good people in that administration.
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I mean, I can't think of many of them, but I'm sure there are people who still want to be civil servants.
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Sure, there are people who still want to be civil servants.
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And let me just say I want to say this I am not some staunch Democrat.
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If there was a different respectable Republican running, I would be like, oh, we lost, okay, let's figure it out.
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But it is because he is such an angry, you know scary, fear mongering man and that he's been convicted of clearly sexually assaulting a woman, if not others, and it's things like that.
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It's like I'm not somebody.
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That's just like I didn't win, like no, I'm afraid of this guy, yeah, yeah.
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But back to what you said, kat, I want to.
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I want to mention something Cause you talked about like I've seen so many like group Zooms of like counselors putting out like let's talk about it.
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If you're struggling and and I I think it's important to recognize the grief that some of us have and to process it, and I think someone like you as a healing arts professional, um is someone that can do that for us and, and you know, I just want to say, even if you're uncomfortable or don't understand all the ginseng dough stuff Kat does, she also does massage.
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Even if you're uncomfortable or don't understand all the ginseng dough stuff Kat does, she also does massage and if you're in Nashville you should go see her.
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Well, thank you for that that plug there.
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I really appreciate it.
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So we celebrated your birthday this weekend.
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On Friday, we went out to ME squared pizza in Germantown, and Germantown, in nashville, if you're not familiar, is like this cool old part of town with like it almost feels brooklyn-y to me.
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Yeah, it does, yeah, yeah, um.
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And so we went over there.
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Super cool vibes on the inside, even though it's a pizza place.
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It's a pizza place.
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It's like high end pizza, y'all Delicious.
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And we sat at the surfboard table and we got amazing group of people by the way, a bunch of friends of yours and I enjoyed where I sat and I asked for what I needed, even though it was your birthday, for what I needed, even though it was your birthday.
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I was like, can you keep me safe from people?
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And you were like, yes, and I love that.
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I don't have to expand on that.
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You just knew what that meant.
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But one of the things that we ended up talking about as we were asking you what you were looking forward to in this next year and I want you to expand on that too but, um, was what does it look like to ask our friends what is one way you would like to see me grow?
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And so we went around the table and said that for you.
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Um, do you remember any of the answers?
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Oh, my gosh?
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Of course I do.
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I've, I've taken them to heart and and, uh, one of our friends challenged me with um and I'm not going to say it verbatim, cause I'm terrible at saying things verbatim Um, which I just did the exact opposite thing that she challenged me to do.
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Um, was, was, was to kind of claim my awesomeness, to claim what I'm good at, to claim how I speak about myself, you know, and um, and so I was talking to her just yesterday and I I gave myself a compliment at what a skilled communicator I can be at times, absolutely, and, and it like it just felt different in my whole body to say that and and not fear, like you know, I'm going to get shot up, you know, like I'm going to.
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It's like that's a lie, you stupid whore.
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You know, it's like it felt really different in my whole body to say like, like, yeah, there, there are times at which I can really be a really skilled communicator and it's like so much so that I'll have a weekly podcast, so much so that I talk to people for a living, like, like that's yay, cat, you know.
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And so, yes, I do remember all of the things that that I was encouraged to do and I really have taken them all to heart.
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I really have.
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Good, good.
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So here's my question what is keeping you from being that bad-ass self Like?
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What are you afraid is going to happen if you were to step into that?
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I don't feel like I'm afraid of.
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And I remember I was a part of a competition in college and it had this like on stage interview question and they were like, what's your biggest fear?
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And I said my biggest fear is success.
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And everybody was like, oh, that's such a great answer, you know, and if you would have asked me then, why is that your biggest fear?
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I would have been like I don't know, it just sounds scary.
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So I'm glad there wasn't a follow-up question.
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It's like I sounded really smart and then was done, you know, and so I don't.
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I don't think that that's my fear anymore.
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It's not.
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It's not a fear of of doing well or being successful or stepping into my bad ass self.
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It's like I'm just so aware of my shortcomings that they're still struggling to be the loudest thing in my head.
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You know, it's like they're the my shortcomings are just so loud.
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To me it's really.
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It's not about being afraid of being a badass.
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It's more about like quieting that inner critic and and training up that inner mentor.
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You know, it's like it's to me it's.
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It's a it's.
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It's letting go of old habits, of old narratives, and that's hard work.
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Yeah, I'm not afraid.
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What, like you said, you're so aware of your shortcomings?
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I'm totally doing a coaching session.
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What?
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Give me an example?
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What's the first one that comes to mind?
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Um, I need to lose weight.
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Oh, I'm only laughing because I'm like, oh, I got that girl in my head too.
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Okay, so losing weight like that is keeping you from what?
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buying anything new for myself to wear in the past seven years and what does that have to do with who you?
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Are.
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I feel like I don't look professional at my job.
00:18:58.166 --> 00:19:11.138
Okay, all right, I have stumped the coach this is me stepping out of the coach's role and going come back, come back, come back.
00:19:16.045 --> 00:19:19.053
Interesting, isn't it interesting?
00:19:19.053 --> 00:19:23.103
Like, here's the thing, y'all, it's all in our head.
00:19:23.103 --> 00:19:31.270
I recognized yesterday that I've been really working on like limiting beliefs like this and I finally went.
00:19:31.270 --> 00:19:35.659
What is the limiting belief that is controlling my anxiety?
00:19:35.659 --> 00:19:37.766
And what was it?
00:19:37.766 --> 00:19:59.167
Well, if Sarah's driving and I'm in the car, I am constantly using the brake or sliding out of my seat going, and I realized I have a lot of trauma, definitely around car wrecks I've been in many, so there's that, but also I can loosen that and I can get out what is going on.
00:19:59.167 --> 00:20:07.279
And the entire limiting belief is bad things are going to happen to me and I believe that because they have.
00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:12.056
But that is a really sad way to live your life.
00:20:12.355 --> 00:20:12.696
Yeah.
00:20:13.244 --> 00:20:23.496
Because my filter is always I can't do that because something's going to happen, which is true Even if I have to drive to East Nashville at eight o'clock at night.
00:20:23.496 --> 00:20:30.340
That sounds like okay, this is the end, yeah, and at dark, you know end, yeah, and.
00:20:30.340 --> 00:20:37.692
And at dark, you know, like I, I'm afraid to go out at dark sometimes because I'm afraid something bad's going to happen, which is so crazy.
00:20:37.692 --> 00:20:43.428
So all that to say what is your limiting belief around you?
00:20:43.428 --> 00:20:51.646
You stepping into, like I am excellent at what I do, whether that's music industry or healing arts.
00:20:53.269 --> 00:21:04.612
Um, I think that I, I recognize that I am undisciplined and therefore I feel like I don't deserve to be good, Like I don't have.
00:21:04.612 --> 00:21:19.007
I don't meditate 17 minutes a day, Like I don't do my pal Dan gum every morning, Like I, they're just, it's like I'm not, I'm not super choicefully disciplined.
00:21:19.007 --> 00:21:20.869
Now, do I study?
00:21:20.869 --> 00:21:23.775
Do I immerse myself in the material?
00:21:23.775 --> 00:21:26.440
Do I, you know, go to class?
00:21:26.440 --> 00:21:28.423
Yeah, I do all kinds of great stuff.
00:21:28.423 --> 00:21:51.030
I'm not saying I just like am laying around like a blob, you know it's like, but but I just don't have, you know, I just don't have the kind of discipline where I feel like, outside of my natural abilities, I can be awesome and my natural abilities are enough, Like that's enough and then that's.
00:21:51.030 --> 00:21:53.636
It's very hard for me to believe that that's true.
00:21:54.986 --> 00:22:05.790
Okay, I'm hearing two things comparison which you just have to get rid of because somebody in your life does those things that you don't do.
00:22:05.790 --> 00:22:10.358
You don't naturally want to do them, or you would do them.
00:22:10.358 --> 00:22:17.193
What you enjoy is reading and studying, and that may be the part of the journey that you're on.
00:22:17.193 --> 00:22:23.955
Yeah, where they're part of the journey is I've done that and now I need to go physically move my body around in the morning.
00:22:23.955 --> 00:22:27.073
Yeah, so fix that.
