April 1, 2025

Sneezing Energy and a Table Voice

Life gets messy when we're caught between reacting and responding, especially when faced with challenging people. In the absence of their Producer Sara (who's off enjoying South African villas), Kat dives into the world of podcast editing—complete with an impromptu meditation backed by Heart's rock anthem "I Didn't Want to Need You." This lighthearted start quickly evolves into a vulnerable exploration of how we handle difficult conversations.

Ever had to deal with someone whose ego is completely wrapped up in metrics and success? Kat and Moose unpack the delicate art of supporting creative people through their ups and downs without becoming the target of blame when things inevitably fluctuate. They share personal strategies for maintaining composure, including Kat's approach of viewing difficult adults as children having tantrums: "You're just throwing a fit right now. I'm going to let you finish your fit, you'll be exhausted, and then you'll fall asleep."

The conversation takes a fascinating turn when they connect physical experiences to emotional processing. Kat describes how a simple sneeze released pent-up negative energy, which Moose brilliantly ties to Chinese medicine concepts about seasonal transitions and the body's natural ability to "let come and let go." This leads to revelations about neuroplasticity and how our brains create pathways for coping mechanisms that remain available even after we've moved on—"It's not like the pathway gets erased."

Between profound insights, the hosts share hilarious stories about flipping off Teslas, Amy Poehler's perfect response to being called "the poor man's Tina Fey," and mysterious childhood memories of abandoned buildings. These raw, unfiltered moments remind us we're all just humans trying to navigate life's complexities, sometimes as our adult selves and sometimes as the six-year-olds inside us who decided long ago they needed to take charge.

Listen now to find your own balance between reacting and responding as we explore the quirks of being human together.

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Chapters

00:00 - Learning to Edit the Podcast

10:06 - Dealing with Difficult Conversations

16:48 - Responding vs Reacting to Challenges

22:05 - Finding Your True Self

30:42 - Middle Fingers and Teslas

35:46 - Strange Childhood Memories

Transcript

WEBVTT

00:00:04.187 --> 00:00:06.051
Welcome to the Cat and Moose podcast.

00:00:06.051 --> 00:00:07.394
I'm Cat and I'm Moose.

00:00:09.157 --> 00:00:12.803
This is a true life podcast where we explore the quirks of being human.

00:00:16.568 --> 00:00:23.506
Hey Cat, hey Moose, hey Sarah, she's in South Africa without us.

00:00:23.506 --> 00:00:25.536
Oh, just hanging out in South Africa.

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What in the world, producer, sarah, are you doing in South Africa?

00:00:29.907 --> 00:00:31.028
That's a great question.

00:00:31.028 --> 00:00:34.883
Um, she went to some fancy place over there.

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She sent me pictures and it was like an Italian villa.

00:00:38.691 --> 00:00:38.911
Ooh.

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I was like I think you're in heaven.

00:00:41.243 --> 00:00:45.155
It was like so pretty, Ooh, how nice, Okay.

00:00:45.155 --> 00:00:53.372
So uh, with Sarah being out a bunch lately, you have been talking for seven years about how you want to learn how to edit.

00:00:53.820 --> 00:00:57.368
Yes, all seven years that we've been doing the podcast, yeah.

00:00:58.128 --> 00:01:06.903
And now you're learning and you started to tell me about it and I was like, no, no, we gotta hit record, so please tell us all how that is going.

00:01:07.243 --> 00:01:23.885
Yeah, so um, I decided to take a couple of tutorials, okay, and to attempt to learn how to edit the podcast for times when Sarah's in South Africa, because we could have planned that right and so, um, so anyway.

00:01:23.885 --> 00:01:33.055
So I was having a self-teaching moment, um, over the weekend, this past weekend, and I was learning how to edit by.

00:01:33.055 --> 00:01:48.495
I did a grounding meditation, okay, kind of one of those like if you'd like you can notice what's supporting you right now, or like this, if you'd like, if you'd like Notice what's supporting you right now.

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Notice what's supporting you right now.

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No, I was actually just using my regular voice, because I try not to have a table voice Like I know I do.

00:01:56.415 --> 00:01:57.700
Is that a thing I have no idea?

00:01:57.700 --> 00:01:59.284
I mean, I don't know.

00:01:59.659 --> 00:02:06.802
Oh my God, we need to call it and we need to totally trademark.

00:02:06.802 --> 00:02:10.151
That is like table voice, because if you are any kind of body work therapist, you would know what that means.

00:02:10.471 --> 00:02:16.109
Yes, I mean, maybe you would Like I don't know, but it's like a phone voice when you answer the phone.

00:02:16.219 --> 00:02:18.566
We don't ever talk like we normally talk.

00:02:18.566 --> 00:02:19.889
See, I do.

00:02:20.069 --> 00:02:20.631
No, you don't.

00:02:20.831 --> 00:02:21.600
No, you go.

00:02:21.600 --> 00:02:22.887
This is Kat.

00:02:22.887 --> 00:02:24.823
I go hello, this is Kat.

00:02:24.823 --> 00:02:25.604
No, you don't.

00:02:25.604 --> 00:02:25.905
No, you go.

00:02:25.905 --> 00:02:26.225
This is Kat.

00:02:26.225 --> 00:02:26.627
I go hello.

00:02:26.627 --> 00:02:27.549
This is Kat.

00:02:27.549 --> 00:02:28.770
Yeah, but you're never that cheery oh.

00:02:28.830 --> 00:02:30.354
I'm always so depressed?

00:02:30.495 --> 00:02:33.456
No, it's just a little bit higher of a pitch than normal.

00:02:33.676 --> 00:02:34.538
Yeah, it's a little bit.

00:02:34.538 --> 00:02:52.789
It's got a little more energy, a little more high frequency, for sure, so, anyway, so I was using my table voice, I guess, and I was like, as you notice your feet on the ground, and then entered in the guitar solo from the heart song.

00:02:52.789 --> 00:02:55.872
I didn't want to need you, which?

00:02:55.931 --> 00:02:58.653
is what Sing it to us Gone.

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Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

00:03:02.616 --> 00:03:05.487
I didn't want to need you.

00:03:05.487 --> 00:03:12.432
Oh no, I didn't want to want you like I do, yeah, yeah.

00:03:12.432 --> 00:03:20.259
Everybody knows that song and so, anyway, I was down here at my desk just howling, laughing.

00:03:20.501 --> 00:03:21.384
And so I started.

00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:22.705
You have a new hobby.

00:03:22.705 --> 00:03:28.503
Oh man, I have had so much fun trying to learn this crazy thing, so we'll see.

00:03:28.745 --> 00:03:34.681
You created a meditation where heart is like, like that is the meditation music.

00:03:36.365 --> 00:03:46.979
I was doing it to be funny, because that's how my brain works, like when I'm trying to like really sink in and try to really connect with myself.

00:03:46.979 --> 00:03:55.741
There's some voice over here going you know it's like you just can't really get quiet or I can't no um.

00:03:55.741 --> 00:04:06.616
And so I was like why don't I, why don't I show the world what my what's in my experience is so will you edit that into this episode?

00:04:06.817 --> 00:04:28.716
is that how that's gonna go, because I do feel like you should try yeah, I feel like I should go, and now is time for you to listen to cat's second edit and it's like, and now you may put your feet on the ground, and now you know like, maybe, so, maybe, so, oh, my gosh'm telling you like I miss her as a human and I miss her as our producer.

00:04:28.716 --> 00:04:30.105
I miss producer Sarah.

00:04:30.447 --> 00:04:32.184
Yeah, I thought you were talking about heart.

00:04:32.184 --> 00:04:35.846
I miss them too, I feel like I was like five.

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I feel like I'm five years too young to have gotten heart, but I do recognize the songs.

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You know the the?

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All I want to do is make love to you.

00:04:47.132 --> 00:04:50.226
Yes, it's one of their big pop hits.

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Oh, I didn't know how do I get you alone?

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oh okay, these dreams go on when I close my eyes you don't know this music?

00:05:03.473 --> 00:05:03.814
I do.

00:05:03.814 --> 00:05:11.930
I know all of their music yeah, apparently okay, you just said the first song, uh what was the title?

00:05:11.971 --> 00:05:14.497
again, the one that I was using to edit uh-huh?

00:05:14.497 --> 00:05:15.399
Um, it's called.

00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:20.232
The song is called I didn't want to need you, and it is written by no other than diane warren.

00:05:20.232 --> 00:05:23.927
Of course, oh, of course yeah, well, uh, I is.

00:05:23.968 --> 00:05:40.786
I'm gonna say something you're gonna hate, but isn't that the funniest name for someone who's an enneagram two to sing that song we'll say more, because I know this is gonna be a a slam on cat, so I'm ready for it.

00:05:40.786 --> 00:05:46.514
No, I just wrote this enneagram article, so it's on the brain yes, I read it as twos.

00:05:46.514 --> 00:05:51.706
You guys want to be wanted don't you?

00:05:51.726 --> 00:05:53.189
oh yeah, oh, I want to be wanted.

00:05:53.310 --> 00:05:58.723
So bad so it's just ironic that that was the song I didn't want to need you.

00:05:58.762 --> 00:06:00.985
Yes, I want you to need me.

00:06:00.985 --> 00:06:04.389
Damn it.

00:06:04.389 --> 00:06:07.052
Yes, it's an enneagram too.

00:06:07.052 --> 00:06:08.235
I want to be needed.

00:06:08.235 --> 00:06:08.675
Damn it.

00:06:08.675 --> 00:06:09.755
That's my theme song.

00:06:10.661 --> 00:06:11.903
Oh my, gosh, it's so funny.

00:06:11.903 --> 00:06:22.336
Um, okay, I I love that and I endorse all of your editing skills and I'm excited to see what comes of it well, I'm excited to hear what comes of it.

00:06:22.415 --> 00:06:28.610
it might be a complete train wreck and thank god sarah's gonna come home, I mean if you need any help.

00:06:28.709 --> 00:06:39.221
I'm learning as well, so we can wait, you know well, when I was in college, I was an expert audio editor and then I worked in radio and I got really good at it.

00:06:39.221 --> 00:06:41.822
Um, but I'm learning audition.

00:06:41.822 --> 00:06:42.764
What are you learning it in?

00:06:43.124 --> 00:06:44.725
I'm learning in audition as well.

00:06:44.725 --> 00:06:46.487
Yeah, and I'm learning that I.

00:06:46.487 --> 00:06:47.447
What are you learning it in?

00:06:47.447 --> 00:06:48.668
I'm learning in Audition as well.

00:06:48.708 --> 00:06:53.891
Yeah, and I'm learning that I'm a really good editor Like I can go and I can easily clip out stuff and add stuff in and stuff like that.

00:06:53.951 --> 00:07:01.057
What I'm curious about is I guess there's I know there's like nine people in the world who care about this, so this is going to be a great episode.

00:07:01.057 --> 00:07:06.764
We're an educational podcast going to be a great episode.

00:07:06.764 --> 00:07:07.105
Yeah, educate.

00:07:07.105 --> 00:07:14.725
Apparently there's a thing where you need to group the vocal tracks together so that, like, you and I are talking together and it's like I'm editing it as a group, and I don't know how to do that yet.

00:07:14.845 --> 00:07:16.788
Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.

00:07:16.788 --> 00:07:25.961
Um, I only know how to kind of clip things out and stuff like that, and then I'm learning some of the layering, okay.

00:07:25.961 --> 00:07:28.990
So anyway, for those of you, we're sponsored by Adobe.

00:07:29.399 --> 00:07:30.786
Yeah, we're sponsored by Adobe.

00:07:30.786 --> 00:07:34.363
The creative cloud Just go to cat and moose podcast.

00:07:34.403 --> 00:07:40.555
Slash trial, slash us, slash edit, slash lovey girl.

00:07:41.281 --> 00:07:47.295
That's what is going to make Adobe become the world's leading creative software.

00:07:47.295 --> 00:07:49.384
Is that that we have endorsed them?

00:07:49.384 --> 00:07:49.605
You?

00:07:49.646 --> 00:07:55.723
know that right, agreed, absolutely, yeah, uh, I just need my yearly subscription to be comped.

00:07:55.723 --> 00:07:57.146
That's really all I'm looking for.

00:07:57.146 --> 00:07:58.009
The same.

00:07:58.048 --> 00:08:02.346
yeah, I was going through my amex the other day going like what else can I cut, cut?

00:08:02.346 --> 00:08:03.208
Like am I paying?

00:08:03.208 --> 00:08:07.704
Like like I subscribed to rocket lawyer, oh me too.

00:08:08.004 --> 00:08:09.588
Me too.

00:08:09.588 --> 00:08:13.579
I've got 12 subscriptions I haven't touched in years, right.

00:08:13.620 --> 00:08:15.084
I try to go find them.

00:08:15.163 --> 00:08:26.180
But there's always one that's like, oh, you renewed, and you hit reply and it's a no reply and then you're like, screw it, I'd rather pay $59 a year than actually call someone right.

00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:43.212
And so last week I had this experience moose, except I got a renewal subscription bill that showed up in my Amex for $675, for what it was for some website that I owned one time.

00:08:43.312 --> 00:08:45.076
Oh yeah, because you asked me about it.

00:08:45.076 --> 00:09:00.187
Yeah, I always like buy websites and then I pay for them for years and then I let them expire and so I got and they get you because they're like oh, it's going to be 20% less if you pay for the whole year, but then Right, the business is gone the next year.

00:09:00.821 --> 00:09:04.591
Right, because it's been hacked or it's just failed, you know so.

00:09:04.591 --> 00:09:10.585
So, yeah, so I actually picked up the phone, I called who made the charge.

00:09:10.585 --> 00:09:12.908
I called my amex.

00:09:12.908 --> 00:09:14.331
I replaced my card.

00:09:14.331 --> 00:09:20.203
I I was so proud of myself I made like three phone calls.

00:09:20.203 --> 00:09:22.768
Yeah, I mean you absolve myself.

00:09:22.768 --> 00:09:25.471
I do, I do and I am proactive.

00:09:25.471 --> 00:09:27.394
If you've ever seen it, poster child.

00:09:27.820 --> 00:09:28.682
You really are.

00:09:28.682 --> 00:09:30.086
Here's your prize.

00:09:30.086 --> 00:09:39.410
I think you gave me this, yeah, but I use it when I'm on meetings, so you get to borrow this.

00:09:39.410 --> 00:09:40.341
Thank you.

00:09:40.480 --> 00:09:40.902
One day.

00:09:40.902 --> 00:09:44.230
Thank you, and I will let you borrow this.

00:09:45.841 --> 00:09:47.485
Oh, look at us and our rocks.

00:09:47.745 --> 00:09:48.629
Yeah, this is my.

00:09:48.688 --> 00:09:49.611
Look what I found.

00:09:49.611 --> 00:09:51.787
You found the little kitty.

00:09:51.787 --> 00:09:52.249
Kitty.

00:09:52.249 --> 00:09:57.215
She's yelling at me, so you I had to show her to you.

00:09:57.215 --> 00:10:02.506
Okay, I need to talk about how yesterday went for me, cause it was a rough day.

00:10:02.888 --> 00:10:04.625
Okay, I'm, I'm here for it.

00:10:04.625 --> 00:10:05.201
What happened?

00:10:05.543 --> 00:10:08.144
Well, as you know, we were supposed to record this.

00:10:08.144 --> 00:10:11.844
A couple of days ago, I kind of started feeling nauseous halfway through the day.

00:10:11.844 --> 00:10:17.241
It was like I am not getting sick, so I down like all this wellness formula, all the things that you do.

00:10:17.241 --> 00:10:19.344
Was it morning sickness?

00:10:19.344 --> 00:10:24.248
Yeah, no, I'm not pregnant and I'm happy about that.

00:10:24.248 --> 00:10:34.197
Um, but so Monday comes and I had to deal with a difficult situation in the workplace.

00:10:34.197 --> 00:10:37.951
Nobody that works for me, but well, I'll tell you this.

00:10:37.951 --> 00:10:50.947
I've had to deal with a couple really hard situations lately and it is not lost on me that it has to be connected to some universal something truth.

00:10:50.947 --> 00:10:56.566
So I texted you the other day and was like hey, how's your week?

00:10:56.566 --> 00:10:59.087
Cause the past two weeks have just been hard.

00:10:59.087 --> 00:11:02.566
I feel like, and like not hard in.

00:11:02.566 --> 00:11:05.390
I've been busy, I can handle all of that, but hard.

00:11:05.390 --> 00:11:09.355
And I've been busy, I can handle all that, but hard and like difficult conversations.

00:11:09.395 --> 00:11:11.298
Yeah yeah, there's a difference.

00:11:11.298 --> 00:11:19.544
Like being busy is one thing and it's like, thankfully, like, even though sometimes we get frustrated with it, like we love what we do, like we love our jobs.

00:11:19.544 --> 00:11:28.461
We wouldn't keep doing them if we didn't Right doing them if we didn't right.

00:11:28.461 --> 00:11:32.775
And and at the same time, when, when you have to deal with difficult situations within a thing that you love, like that can be really taxing.

00:11:32.775 --> 00:11:34.120
So, like, how did you handle?

00:11:35.081 --> 00:11:43.471
well, okay, so I've started doing this thing where I give people out and like an out.

00:11:43.471 --> 00:11:56.460
Like, for instance, I might go oh, I'm not saying this is healthy, I'm not on the record for this, guys, okay, this is just how I operate in order to survive.

00:11:56.460 --> 00:12:02.419
Like I'll be, like, oh, they probably had some PTSD going on or something like that.

00:12:02.419 --> 00:12:11.981
I'm trying to see people as like children and not as adults, because it's a little bit better, cause you're like, oh, you're just throwing a fit right now.

00:12:12.222 --> 00:12:16.461
Right, like I'm going to let you finish your fit, you're going to be exhausted, and then you'll fall asleep, right.

00:12:17.283 --> 00:12:18.244
And then I'll have my way.

00:12:18.244 --> 00:12:19.905
Yeah, that sounded horrible.

00:12:19.966 --> 00:12:24.111
I'll get you a little snack or at least you'll just be quiet, you know.

00:12:24.111 --> 00:12:37.773
But I I think the hardest conversations for me are when it and most of the conversations that are hard involve this are when it involves someone's ego and they're.

00:12:37.773 --> 00:12:59.505
I mean, we deal with this working in the entertainment industry a lot, but you know, if we get into a place as humans where our value is based on numbers or success, whatever that means, then I think God forbid that foundation crumble Right.

00:12:59.505 --> 00:13:01.650
Right, because eventually it does.

00:13:01.650 --> 00:13:07.684
It always does right, because eventually it does, it always does.

00:13:07.684 --> 00:13:10.052
Often it comes back when it crumbles, but there are times where it could be an off week.

00:13:10.052 --> 00:13:16.105
It's not even that something isn't working, it just could be an off week and it's hard.

00:13:16.105 --> 00:13:24.245
As someone who supports artistic people sometimes to I'm not someone that really wants to explain away.

00:13:24.245 --> 00:13:25.890
Well, well, here's why this happened.

00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:27.302
I'm someone that wants to be like.

00:13:27.302 --> 00:13:30.028
I know I noticed it too.

00:13:30.028 --> 00:13:31.552
Let's keep moving.

00:13:31.552 --> 00:13:46.433
You know, like I just can't get stuck on those little tiny things, and so I think it's hard sometimes when, when you're dealing with someone who that is their expectation all the time is just growth, growth, growth, growth growth.

00:13:46.433 --> 00:13:50.389
Yeah, because it's just not going to happen like that all the time.

00:13:50.389 --> 00:13:52.005
You'll have seasons of that.

00:13:52.307 --> 00:14:05.692
Yeah, and you know we're talking about artists, we're talking about entertainment, and a lot of times it's not exclusive by any stretch, but a lot of times those people tend to hover around being an Enneagram four.

00:14:05.692 --> 00:14:11.312
And so they've got the three wing that is like perfection, perfection, performance, performance.

00:14:11.312 --> 00:14:29.048
And then they've got the five wing, that's like data, data, data, data, and it's like it's almost like kind of a train wreck from both sides, because right in the middle of it Enneagram four, it's like I just want to be myself and I can't ever be satisfied and you know.

00:14:29.368 --> 00:14:33.778
And also, like I want to be seen for who I am and why can't be?

00:14:33.778 --> 00:14:39.475
If it, if it's not going as planned, like you know, why can't people see that?

00:14:39.475 --> 00:14:46.373
And then it's human nature I'm learning, I feel like I should have learned this in my thirties, but I'm learning it in my forties and that's okay.

00:14:46.373 --> 00:14:50.673
But I also feel like it's human nature to want to blame somebody.

00:14:50.673 --> 00:14:52.299
Oh yeah, oh yeah.

00:14:52.299 --> 00:14:54.148
Like I always tell the story.

00:14:54.148 --> 00:15:06.774
When I worked um, I think you're going to know what story but when I worked at a label, one of the bosses there said I don't care who picks the single for radio, I just need to know who to shoot when it doesn't work.

00:15:06.774 --> 00:15:17.380
And although that's terrible, also that is our nature of if something doesn't work, who can I point the finger at?

00:15:17.421 --> 00:15:23.341
Cause it's certainly not you, no, like it's certainly not the person whose piece of art is not working.

00:15:24.203 --> 00:15:32.344
Right, and so I guess my whole point is you know, I have been reactive some of my life.

00:15:32.344 --> 00:15:45.226
I've working my way out of that, I think, in a lot of ways, and I just want to be a less reactive person because when it happens to you, it is just we as adults.

00:15:45.226 --> 00:15:48.750
We should not, we shouldn't have to treat each other poorly.

00:15:48.975 --> 00:15:50.260
Yeah, this is very true.

00:15:50.260 --> 00:16:11.077
I have a dear friend and client we both do who said to me several years ago he said I am working on responding instead of reacting, yeah, exactly, and and to me, like that they're, they're both like they're going to be helpful in moving energy.

00:16:11.077 --> 00:16:21.245
Right, that's all we're doing, right, we're moving energy, yeah, and so it's like if I need to react, if I need to respond, if I need to yell at somebody, if I need to be frustrated, I need to blame somebody.

00:16:21.245 --> 00:16:26.318
It's just a movement of frustration, right, and so it's like it's got to move somewhere else.

00:16:26.318 --> 00:16:28.605
So I'm going to pick, like where am I going to move it to?

00:16:28.815 --> 00:16:28.934
Yeah.

00:16:29.054 --> 00:16:43.721
And I really liked the thought of, instead of immediately needing to move that energy, being able to respond to it, to go okay, I'm, I'm going to go ahead and tell you that I'm about to have a really hard time with this.

00:16:43.721 --> 00:16:50.484
I'm, I want to respond in a way that is mature and respectful, and also I'm really frustrated and I need to move that energy.

00:16:50.484 --> 00:17:03.440
You know, it's like there's a level of matureness there that I'm, I really have a lot of respect for yeah, so let's try to not be that person.

00:17:03.961 --> 00:17:11.355
I I literally text someone yesterday and said let's get drunk, and I didn't mean it.

00:17:11.936 --> 00:17:14.486
I didn't mean it but it's like which.

00:17:14.546 --> 00:17:36.708
By the way, as someone who quit drinking for a while, I was telling sarah this the other day I it's funny because even though the most I will drink is one or two drinks, and it's usually a beer or something now I mean like I don't really drink a lot at all anymore, but it is funny when I get really stressed to where my um nervous system feels shot.

00:17:36.708 --> 00:17:37.951
It's.

00:17:37.951 --> 00:17:41.220
It's interesting that my brain still says let's drink.

00:17:41.220 --> 00:17:43.736
Yeah, yeah, that's fascinating.

00:17:43.856 --> 00:17:44.959
Isn't that fascinating?

00:17:45.058 --> 00:17:54.403
It's not even my thing I do anymore, but for so long that was my go-to of like, just take the edge off, just take the edge off.

00:17:54.403 --> 00:17:57.997
And it's weird to notice that that's still what my brain says.

00:17:58.738 --> 00:18:02.723
Well, it's like the whole idea of neuroplasticity, right, it's like there are.

00:18:02.723 --> 00:18:41.713
There are neural pathways that are created in our brain, whether they're from trauma or habits or addictions or whatever it is, and it's like if you've been used to for more than 21 days doing any one thing, you there, there is a pathway in the brain you know, like a habit is formed, and so it's like if you spent two years or 10 years or eight months or whatever it is going like, okay, the way I deal is I drink, or the way I deal is I smoke or I eat or I fill in the blank, whatever it is, it's hard to unlearn that, and even you unlearn it, the pathway is still available.

00:18:41.713 --> 00:18:47.125
Yeah, it's not like the pathway gets erased, right, you know, and that's that's really.

00:18:47.145 --> 00:19:10.347
that feels to me like a little bit of a um bitch slap yeah, it's not like like I wonder if, going with that analogy, I wonder if there's a way to uh, uh from a healing standpoint with, like, a therapist or somebody to put dirt into that pathway so that it goes away eventually.

00:19:11.115 --> 00:19:14.483
Yeah, it's, it's, it's an absolute advertisement for body work.

00:19:14.483 --> 00:19:15.567
Is what's happening right now?

00:19:15.567 --> 00:19:16.457
Yeah, that's true.

00:19:16.457 --> 00:19:19.523
Yeah, yeah, all the somatic stuff for sure.

00:19:19.523 --> 00:19:21.635
Yeah, yeah, I mean it's just like.

00:19:21.635 --> 00:19:22.900
Okay, like, let's start.

00:19:22.900 --> 00:19:38.784
It kind of reminds me of of the tradition in some cultures where, when someone is buried, the person closest to that person shovels the first shovel of dirt on top of the casket, like on top of the closest as in relationship.

00:19:39.525 --> 00:20:05.083
Well, yeah, like if it, if a man dies and has a wife, it's like a lot of times it's the oldest son yeah, it's a thing and so, um, to me it's, it's just like like therapy is like that act, you know, it's like you're gonna have to pile that shit on for a long time for that to bury that casket, yeah, and and at least you're working toward it, at least it's not just like a gaping hole, you know, right, I agree.

00:20:05.904 --> 00:20:07.008
Yeah, I've been doing.

00:20:07.008 --> 00:20:21.432
I've been trying to, like I said, see other people as children and also try and have those conversations with my six year old kid, um, which I did have her, oh, she's over here now.

00:20:21.432 --> 00:20:27.587
I had to move my desk for a meeting cause I was sitting on my couch and I'll get it Hang on one sec.

00:20:27.587 --> 00:20:30.773
This have I talked about?

00:20:30.773 --> 00:20:33.824
No, yeah, hi.

00:20:33.824 --> 00:20:38.711
Hi, andrea, my friend Megan said it's quite scary.

00:20:38.711 --> 00:20:41.375
I didn't mean to stitch up her lips.

00:20:41.375 --> 00:20:44.628
I'll try and put this on socials or something.

00:20:45.800 --> 00:20:48.727
I hate socials, God I hate socials yeah.

00:20:48.727 --> 00:21:02.925
Yeah, I was talking with a friend today who said that he has taken a turn from saying that I'm going to engage with social media and turned that into I am going to engage with people who care about what I do.

00:21:03.708 --> 00:21:04.348
Oh, that's good.

00:21:04.789 --> 00:21:06.393
And I thought that was really interesting.

00:21:06.393 --> 00:21:15.830
You know, it's like it's using it as like a storefront, like a marketplace, and it's like if you know you're using it to sell something, then you don't have to be as personally attached to it.

00:21:15.830 --> 00:21:20.007
You know, it's like either people are going to buy what I'm putting out or they're not.

00:21:20.007 --> 00:21:25.798
You know, so it's just such a fickle place you know it is anyway.

00:21:26.138 --> 00:21:52.800
So tell me about six-year-old, oh well basically, what I want to say about her is uh, all the, all the things I do that are reactive are because she was a six-year-old who looked around and said nobody here is being strong and I put that in quotes because they were being strong, but in her mind nobody was taking charge, so she has to take charge.

00:21:53.381 --> 00:22:25.219
And so if I remember, like even how I feel, like yesterday I had so much tough energy inside of me and then I sneezed I know that sounds weird and I it all came out like it was bizarre, like so much energy came out, um, but anyway, uh, I was just thinking about that yesterday, about how, uh, I was asking that six-year-old what is it that you're feeling because my 46-year-old didn't know, that you're feeling because my 46 year old didn't know.

00:22:25.219 --> 00:22:37.968
I just knew it was real bad, is what I felt, yeah, and then I saw this thing online and it was somebody talking about the law of attraction, which I'm still unsure.

00:22:37.968 --> 00:22:55.506
If I believe, I do believe there is giant magnets bringing all of us together at the right times and things like that, but you think there's a magnet that's making the earth rotate and orbit around the sun and the sun orbit through the milky way.

00:22:55.605 --> 00:23:02.224
Like yeah, to say there's not some sort of magnetic presence there, I think is really um ignorant.

00:23:02.224 --> 00:23:04.009
I do too too.

00:23:04.249 --> 00:23:26.315
But then I just got into like back to like the pathways and stuff, like what I was had this season a few months back, where I would say to everybody just raise your vibration, raise your vibe raise your mind because I do feel like when I do that it is, it really does change things.

00:23:26.515 --> 00:23:29.001
And I wrote down this week life is what you make it.

00:23:29.001 --> 00:23:36.375
And it's interesting because I have such a dualistic view of the world.

00:23:36.375 --> 00:23:54.349
I really do like whether and I think we all do by nature, by living in this world, like it's either right or wrong, good or bad, you know black or white and I'm trying to look at the different shades of things instead of black and white, like, oh, this is in my life right now.

00:23:54.460 --> 00:23:58.588
It feels really heavy and hard, but this is in my life right now.

00:23:58.588 --> 00:24:02.061
To get me somewhere else and this is where.

00:24:02.061 --> 00:24:05.541
I need to be is in the present, but that's not always easy to do?

00:24:06.605 --> 00:24:07.648
No, it's really not.

00:24:07.648 --> 00:24:12.522
It's like having a sometimes wanted and sometimes unwanted travel companion.

00:24:12.522 --> 00:24:21.683
Yes, exactly yeah, and I think something you said a minute ago kind of reminded me of something we talked about a couple of weeks ago.

00:24:21.683 --> 00:24:33.125
But I feel like it's even more relevant now because this week, this Thursday, at 4.01 am, central Daylight Time, is when the vernal equinox happens.

00:24:33.204 --> 00:24:48.779
Oh, yes, I was asking you about that, sorry, yeah, yeah, it's actually the vernal, yes, it's actually the beginning of spring, and it's really interesting to me that you sneezed and you sneezed and that energy moved.

00:24:48.779 --> 00:25:02.194
It makes me think of the energy of the lungs, the air and the lungs represent breathing in and breathing out, letting come and letting go oh, that's good.

00:25:02.194 --> 00:25:08.445
Out, letting come and letting go, that's good.

00:25:08.445 --> 00:25:17.386
And the lungs, organ meridian partner if we're talking about Chinese, you know organ meridian theory the lungs partner is the large intestine, and the large intestine lets come and let's go.

00:25:18.169 --> 00:25:30.053
It takes everything that the body has taken all the nutrients out of, and the only thing that the large intestine does is it removes water from waste and then it creates shit.

00:25:30.053 --> 00:25:43.334
Well, great, it literally like receives from the stomach and the small intestine and it's like, ok, I'm going to let this last little bit of whatever this energy has come and then I'm going to let it go, I'm going to poop it out.

00:25:43.334 --> 00:25:43.881
Interesting.

00:25:43.881 --> 00:25:47.932
And so we are moving from that season?

00:25:47.932 --> 00:25:49.758
Well, that's not true.

00:25:49.758 --> 00:25:51.243
We're not moving from that season.

00:25:51.243 --> 00:25:53.232
I totally just botched my own theory.

00:25:53.634 --> 00:26:06.720
Well, here's the great thing is you're the editor, so you can say whatever you want, right, right, exactly All of that to say that metal energy moved into water, which is winter, and now we are moving from winter to spring.

00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:18.296
So it's interesting to me that, like the grandmother of spring, energy being metal is is going like let go, let go.

00:26:18.296 --> 00:26:24.333
It's like telling the six year old grandchild let go, like you can let go of that.

00:26:24.333 --> 00:26:30.632
And that's really fascinating to me that you sneezed and that energy moved and that came from your lungs.

00:26:30.711 --> 00:26:31.232
I feel better.

00:26:32.380 --> 00:26:33.905
Yeah, that's great.

00:26:34.688 --> 00:26:40.633
Yeah, I really need to be walking and drinking more water now that I'm listening about my large intestine.

00:26:42.421 --> 00:26:44.086
I'm telling you what man like.

00:26:44.086 --> 00:26:47.144
More water right now is a really, really good thing.

00:26:47.144 --> 00:26:48.606
Like we need to hydrate.

00:26:49.249 --> 00:26:49.970
I think so too.

00:26:49.970 --> 00:26:52.020
I actually looked up the other day.

00:26:52.020 --> 00:26:55.166
Is depression related to being dehydrated?

00:26:55.166 --> 00:27:05.848
Because I realize when I feel like I'm going in or maybe I should have looked up anxiety but when I feel like I'm going in or maybe I should have looked up anxiety, but when I feel like I'm going into a panic state, I run over to.

00:27:05.848 --> 00:27:15.442
If I'm up, I run over to the fridge and get a glass of ice water and I'm not kidding it like fixes my panic attacks.

00:27:16.284 --> 00:27:23.811
That is so fascinating because, like water, represents our truest, most authentic being.

00:27:23.811 --> 00:27:29.663
Whoa, yeah, so like if you're, if you're going, well, I just totally burped.

00:27:29.663 --> 00:27:30.224
That was awesome.

00:27:30.265 --> 00:27:31.769
Well, you're the editor, it doesn't matter.

00:27:31.859 --> 00:27:32.240
I'm the editor.

00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:49.108
I might keep it in there, yeah, um, but water really represents like the core of who we are, you know, and so it's like the fact that, like you, would be craving that in order to satiate anxiety, like that, makes so much sense to me, I love it.

00:27:49.229 --> 00:27:50.250
You know what else is weird?

00:27:50.250 --> 00:27:50.893
It's gonna get.

00:27:50.893 --> 00:27:53.250
It's gonna get deep and dark real quick guys.

00:27:53.451 --> 00:27:55.017
Okay but we're gonna come right back out.

00:27:55.218 --> 00:27:59.021
Cat, have something jolly on the other side okay, okay, I've got it ready.

00:27:59.082 --> 00:28:00.962
I know what element brings joy.

00:28:00.962 --> 00:28:01.583
He was diabetic.

00:28:01.603 --> 00:28:07.567
But the whole point is that rang true when you described what he said as he was passing.

00:28:07.567 --> 00:28:33.384
He passed over very quickly after that and maybe he was seeking his true self.

00:28:33.384 --> 00:28:38.432
That was going to be collaborated in heaven, not collaborated, what's it called?

00:28:38.952 --> 00:28:39.713
Reconciled.

00:28:39.713 --> 00:28:43.118
Yeah, I mean, I think that's a fine theory.

00:28:43.118 --> 00:29:09.546
That's really amazing and sad, because it was you losing a parent, and sad that he was feeling that lack, you know, as he was about to cross over, and also like how exciting that what comes after that is is a bunch of like frustrating movement and energy bursting out, to then release us into our truest joy.

00:29:09.546 --> 00:29:12.932
I agree, you know which is fire, and so it's.

00:29:12.932 --> 00:29:15.060
It's just really neat to wait, does that?

00:29:15.121 --> 00:29:17.325
mean he went to hell, okay.

00:29:23.762 --> 00:29:25.951
Just checking Yep, yep, the way, the way that works.

00:29:25.951 --> 00:29:27.396
And then he went into fire.

00:29:27.498 --> 00:29:30.508
He was burning, yes, he was burning in hell.

00:29:30.508 --> 00:29:36.267
I just had some ptsd from some evangelical camp, or something.

00:29:36.307 --> 00:29:50.211
Yeah, yeah, the stuff's got to cross over every now and then, like you can't talk about hinduism or daoist philosophy or christianity or any of that without there being a little bit of overlap, right so, no joke.

00:29:50.392 --> 00:29:54.375
I, like I said, I moved my desk around so it's facing those of you who can't see the video.

00:29:54.375 --> 00:30:00.732
It's facing all my books and I had to literally hide some of my buddhist books.

00:30:00.732 --> 00:30:05.463
I had a little Buddha because I was getting on a call that I was like that's not going to go over.

00:30:05.503 --> 00:30:12.744
Well, Really, oh yeah, I feel like I would have had to obnoxiously left that there.

00:30:13.686 --> 00:30:17.034
Oh well, there's other things that are there, if they want to find them.

00:30:20.421 --> 00:30:23.272
Hide and seek with moose, that's right, I should.

00:30:23.755 --> 00:30:26.142
Every week I should put something new on the bookshelf.

00:30:26.142 --> 00:30:27.905
That is dangerous.

00:30:28.226 --> 00:30:29.548
Yes, I think you should.

00:30:29.548 --> 00:30:50.413
So this reminds me of a situation that I encountered this week with someone who I was in the car with and we were just driving up the interstate, like heading toward my house house, and all of a sudden she just went like this, oh, and I was like what, what is this?

00:30:50.413 --> 00:31:07.271
Very, and I just gestured, sticking up the middle finger but kind of in a like a diagonal upside down sort of way, and it's like a 1980s middle finger too yeah, yeah, it's like my dad, like you're not you're not putting the fingers around it all the way down, they're up to the knuckle.

00:31:07.372 --> 00:31:09.540
So it's like a real pissed off middle finger.

00:31:09.560 --> 00:31:15.901
It's a real pissed off middle finger and I was like, oh my gosh, like what did she do it to you or to someone?

00:31:15.901 --> 00:31:18.526
No, no, she like did it like to the windshield?

00:31:18.526 --> 00:31:21.150
And so I was like what are you flicking off?

00:31:21.150 --> 00:31:41.256
And she was like that Tesla, that Tesla she's not the only one I know and so she has made a pact with herself that if she is on the road and sees a Tesla, she gives the Tesla and the driver the middle finger.

00:31:41.923 --> 00:31:44.779
If she sees the Tesla truck truck what's that one called?

00:31:44.900 --> 00:31:50.515
it's like the tesla I don't know why you call it tesla, it's tesla is tesla.

00:31:50.935 --> 00:31:52.179
Okay, yes, tesla.

00:31:52.199 --> 00:31:55.609
Sorry for mispronouncing I don't know, but they're not even trucks.

00:31:55.609 --> 00:31:58.660
Well, they are cyber truck cyber truck.

00:31:58.740 --> 00:31:59.422
That's what it is.

00:31:59.422 --> 00:32:03.115
And she said so all's get this.

00:32:03.115 --> 00:32:07.933
And she said in the cyber trucks, get this oh, they get a double middle finger.

00:32:07.933 --> 00:32:09.440
Yeah, they get a double middle finger.

00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:20.424
So I realized that in my very tiny and I stress very tiny retirement fund that I am pretending that I still should sell that.

00:32:20.424 --> 00:32:32.435
Well, I realized that part of my portfolio is invested in tesla and I I emailed the person who manages my portfolio and said I want out.

00:32:33.037 --> 00:32:40.231
Yeah, I want out and granted, it's only like three thousand dollars, but like I, don't know thousand dollars.

00:32:40.492 --> 00:32:41.280
Yeah, it's like that.

00:32:41.280 --> 00:32:44.670
We don't need Elon touching I know, I know.

00:32:44.670 --> 00:32:49.789
Um, speaking of middle fingers, I just saw this video that cracked me up.

00:32:49.789 --> 00:32:57.557
It was Amy Puller and Tina Fey talking on Amy Puller's podcast, and and Amy who?

00:32:57.557 --> 00:33:02.028
I love them both, but I didn't know that this was something people said about her.

00:33:02.028 --> 00:33:20.586
She said she was giving a speech at Harvard and she's about to walk on stage and some little Harvard asshole that's graduating or something says to her you're the poor man's Tina Fey, but she's telling this to like one of her best friends, Tina, and Tina never heard the story.

00:33:20.586 --> 00:33:25.720
And she like gasps and she goes you know, they call me that Right, which I had never heard.

00:33:25.720 --> 00:33:28.663
And Tina was, like you know, appalled or whatever.

00:33:28.663 --> 00:33:37.189
And Amy Poehler said she just gave that person a quick middle finger and she goes fuck you and fuck Harvard.

00:33:37.189 --> 00:33:40.960
And then she went up and gave her speech.

00:33:42.623 --> 00:33:43.965
That is awesome.

00:33:43.965 --> 00:33:44.847
That is awesome.

00:33:44.847 --> 00:33:49.371
Can you imagine like hearing something like that right before you're about to?

00:33:49.391 --> 00:33:49.830
step on stage.

00:33:49.830 --> 00:33:51.511
Yeah, I've had that happen to me before.

00:33:51.511 --> 00:33:53.176
It's awful I remember.

00:33:53.637 --> 00:33:59.088
I remember when that happened to you and I wanted to claw that guy's eyes out.

00:33:59.454 --> 00:34:06.224
What, how mean do you have to be to try and just pop someone's bubble right before they are doing something?

00:34:06.705 --> 00:34:07.926
vulnerable Right.

00:34:07.926 --> 00:34:09.309
Yeah, that's not OK.

00:34:09.849 --> 00:34:10.090
Yeah.

00:34:10.835 --> 00:34:17.349
I was at breakfast this morning and one of the gentlemen I was at breakfast with said at one point he goes F, f, f.

00:34:20.096 --> 00:34:22.748
Wait, like said the words, Just said F, F, F.

00:34:22.748 --> 00:34:23.009
Oh no.

00:34:23.028 --> 00:34:23.349
The letter F.

00:34:23.349 --> 00:34:25.458
Wait, like said the words, just said F, f, oh no, the letter F.

00:34:25.458 --> 00:34:26.802
The letter F.

00:34:26.802 --> 00:34:27.905
Like and I was like.

00:34:27.905 --> 00:34:36.842
So I just like threw my hands on the table and I said fuck Like sometimes she just got to say it Like sometimes you got to move.

00:34:36.902 --> 00:34:42.483
That Me and a friend were talking about how uh move that me and a friend were talking about how.

00:34:42.483 --> 00:34:51.807
You know how angry I am based on the cuss word that comes out of my mouth like if it gets to the level of a gd and it's rarely happened, guys.

00:34:51.889 --> 00:35:17.067
It's rarely, but usually when I hurt myself, that's what comes out of my mouth I'm not proud of that Well, I'm not proud of my usage of that phrase either, and at the same time, it was a very healing moment for me when I learned that I could say that out loud and not getting struck by lightning, without getting struck by lightning.

00:35:17.067 --> 00:35:44.057
I was in a therapy session, a bodywork session, and I remember it being like the pinnacle of that session where I said you know what I want to say, because it's just not okay with anybody in my life right now, like anybody in my work, in my life, in my family, and I was encouraged like say whatever you want, want to say, like you have space here to be yourself, and blah, blah, blah.

00:35:44.057 --> 00:35:45.360
And it was it.

00:35:45.360 --> 00:35:50.076
It was really, really healing to be able to say that out loud.

00:35:50.076 --> 00:35:55.648
And ever since then I I have kind of let go of that weird.

00:35:55.648 --> 00:36:01.143
Yeah, yeah, whatever that is, whatever you want to call that well, well, I think it.

00:36:01.684 --> 00:36:09.271
there's so much about those things we weren't allowed to do that are healing, to be like oh, screw that, I'm going to go do it.

00:36:09.271 --> 00:36:14.646
It's kind of like the pastor, kids going out and having sex in the field, or whatever they did.

00:36:14.646 --> 00:36:18.402
You know, do you ever have speaking?

00:36:18.402 --> 00:36:29.938
Okay, I had a memory the other day and I'm just going to describe it to you without any disclaimer, because this is pretty messed up If you say it out loud, I haven't said it out loud yet.

00:36:29.938 --> 00:36:30.139
Oh.

00:36:30.358 --> 00:36:31.342
I can't wait.

00:36:31.842 --> 00:36:38.023
So we had this area behind where I grew up that we called the desert and it was basically construction.

00:36:38.023 --> 00:36:51.329
It's just dirt with like huge mounds of dirt and huge concrete things and like bulldozers, and I mean my entire childhood it was uh, it was there.

00:36:51.329 --> 00:36:53.146
So I don't think they were ever building anything.

00:36:53.146 --> 00:36:59.083
It might've been where they stored things and everything, but we called um, we played there all the time.

00:36:59.083 --> 00:36:59.864
It wasn't safe.

00:36:59.864 --> 00:37:03.976
But then I have a memory and it wasn't in the desert.

00:37:03.976 --> 00:37:11.574
I have a memory of an abandoned like a house, a barn, that had been torn down.

00:37:11.574 --> 00:37:26.440
But somehow we walked up some stairs and there was a second floor and there was a mattress up there which that's concerning and then there was a mattress down and people which that's concerning and then there was a mattress down and people would jump off the rafters onto the mattress.

00:37:26.440 --> 00:37:29.628
But I can't place where this was.

00:37:29.628 --> 00:37:35.298
I don't know if it's from a movie and I've claimed it as my own memory, but it's.

00:37:35.298 --> 00:37:38.987
It creeps me out because I don't know where it's from.

00:37:39.135 --> 00:37:41.985
Did you jump onto the mattress from the rafters?

00:37:41.985 --> 00:37:43.960
I can't remember.

00:37:44.094 --> 00:37:45.119

Sneezing Energy and a Table Voice

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