Transcript
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Welcome to the Cat and Moose podcast.
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I'm Kat and I'm Moose, this is a true life podcaster.
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We explore the quirks of being human.
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Hey, kat, we've done it once again.
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Here we are.
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I am so impressed with all three of us, to be quite honest, do you know what it's like to line up three schedules, not just in meetings but in emotional capacity.
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It's not easy, Very difficult.
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It is not easy and yet when I do it with you guys, it feels in the river Totally.
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That's what he said.
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But I mean, like I'm being really serious, it's like when we have to adjust things and you know, like yesterday I was like, okay, I'm going to be home by three and you're like, would you rather just do tomorrow and all that.
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It's like I like the way that feels in my body, Like it feels like we're holding space for each other.
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And you know what, Like not everything can be run on the algorithm.
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You know, it's like if our podcast comes out at the same time every week, every week.
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I know that that's really the best thing to do and sometimes, like life just doesn't work like that and I feel like our listeners really appreciate that.
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Like we get that, like I was talking to a listener this morning and she was like you know, she goes.
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The fact that you're just so real about what's going on in each of your lives, she's like that brings me so much peace and I'm like okay, like yeah, I think we're doing something right.
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And here's the thing is we've never been someone that's like, okay, the show, most go on Like no, we don't do that.
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The show shuts down when we shut down.
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I mean yeah.
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And we have this honest communication and there's no judgment if any of us can't record when we talked about it, like you said, kat, and that's the way it goes so, yep, I had to bail on the first meet we had this week because I had a very emotional day.
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Yeah, how are you, sarah?
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I'm doing better.
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My doctor put me back on Lexapro, imagine that, so things are feeling good.
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What I just want to say as a researcher.
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This is a research podcast, a medical research podcast.
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I don't need to like be a part of a study because I do studies on myself and Sarah follows my lead sometimes, which is not a good idea, but I really great with Lexapro I am a better person.
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I don't know why I keep experimenting to prove I can like beat Lexapro, but I can't.
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I have finally realized I cannot and, sarah, I'll let you speak for yourself.
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But anyway, that I've influenced you to think that we have to beat an antidepressant is not the way I want to be.
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Oh yeah, no well, thank you.
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There may have been influence, but I'm also my own person and make my own decisions and I maybe chose to wean off with you, but I chose to stay off and that was more because I did not want to have to go through the detox again, because, holy shit, that detox was nuts, Like brain zaps If anybody knows what a brain zap is, you know what I'm feeling.
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It's just like literal, like electric reconnections that were happening and it feels so disorienting and it was really nauseating at times.
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But, yeah, so I did not want to have to go through that again.
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And my emotional and how can I say this Like my central nervous system started shutting it down because I just could not hold the emotions that that, like I couldn't manage.
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That's maybe a better way to put it.
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I couldn't manage the emotions that were coming at me and I had zero room for movement or flexibility, which you guys know me to be a pretty flexible person for the most part, I think, when I'm healthy.
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And, yeah, it just kind of showed me like, all right, well, if you're going to get off, you need to have something to supplement to that, whether it's talk, therapy or you know whatever.
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It's just like I was not doing any of those things and so I can't just think all of that's just going to be fine If I, you know, I don't know Anyway.
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So yeah, I had a couple of nice size breakdowns that I would I would call panic attacks, and my doctor was like why don't you just, yeah, why don't we go ahead and start you back on it?
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And yeah, yeah, can I reflect on that a little bit, sarah, please?
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You said nice sized breakdowns.
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Yeah, like just that in and of itself, like I don't know that that is a thing.
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A nice sized breakdown Like breakdowns suck man.
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Yeah, it was a nice sized one for me and like like you, you being you, I can see you going like well, you know, that was a nice sized, that was a nice sized breakdown.
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Yeah, it was, it was a big in.
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A big in, I mean like at one point I was in the corner of my closet with the doors shut.
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I have like a hanging basket thing that holds all of my shoes and I was just clutching the basket, just sobbing into the basket of shoes and I'm like what is wrong with me?
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Yeah, she was hiding in the closet.
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I was trying to find her.
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Can we, can we break down how that morning started?
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Though Just very quickly, because I'm not sure I can revisit it.
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Well, maybe.
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Well, let's try, and then you could choose to edit it out.
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But, kat, you'll appreciate this, and I say all of this to say I recognize how a trigger is like legitimately a trigger, but it's also funny at the time and it's not good to laugh when it's a trigger.
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So we were at the gym that day at like 630 in the morning.
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Yeah, we were.
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And I just want somebody to clap for that.
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Well, I was going to say, can we just stop there?
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Agreed, like that is so awesome.
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We're amazing.
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Yeah, like six weeks in and seven, I don't know, you guys are fantastic.
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Here's the thing I was at the gym.
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We were at the gym and two different times there was maybe three times there was water spillage to the point that, like entire water bottles, like Not like guys at like a shooting range or something like no, okay, so it's this.
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Patrons, you can see this is a pretty good size water bottle.
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You can fit two and a half you know plastic water bottles in this guy and I.
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It has a lid that that just has like a little handle on it right, kind of like this, and I thought it was attached, so I go to pick it up.
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The lid came off and the whole the whole thing spilled in just right on the gym floor.
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Meanwhile, all around us it has is literally like dumping rain outside and the roof is leaking in 700 spots.
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So like the staff Planet Fitness are literally like just like Vacuuming up water and there's trash can in the bucket and then.
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I dump two gallons more.
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Oh my god.
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She then.
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She then blamed me.
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I'm on this like machine, like I am working my ass, and it tips over and she goes.
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You didn't put the lid on, didn't?
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she didn't I.
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Didn't expect anyone to knock it over, so I didn't put the lid on, and then we're packed up, we're walking out, by the way, with the three of us did clean up my mess the two of us and our friend who goes with us.
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We used all of the terrible paper towels they have and just Tried our best.
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And then we walk, walk to the end and you can't use the women's restroom because it's full of water.
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So we have to use a tiny little table over in the lobby and you get what you pay for.
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Oh my god.
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And so I.
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This is the one where it's like one dollar a month after six months free.
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They'll pay you.
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So I'm like filling up our protein shakes with more water and I like put the lid on hers and I'm like shaking it up and hand it to her and then I go to like shake mine.
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Well, did I put the lid on mine?
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No, did I Freakin pick up the same damn way and drop the whole thing again?
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Yes, yes, I did, it was just, it just looked like baby poop.
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Oh, oh, my god, I was.
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I mean, I would have cried so hard if I I was just holding it all back.
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But yeah, I burst with an hour.
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That's when I laughed.
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That's the moment I laughed.
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My brain said don't laugh, don't do it.
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My body said this is funny.
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It's so I.
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Was.
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I mean I think that shit's funny, like I mean, we just clean it up, that's all.
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But I get that that can be embarrassing and it it started the spiral for Sarah, it didn't start.
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That was like the final straw of.
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Everything I had been like just let it go, just let it go, just let it go.
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And then it was like all of them weren't getting let go, they were just being put in a bottle.
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And then that was the top one, and it just like, and I was stuck in the corner of my closet, crying at my shoes.
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Yeah, sarah, I love you so much and I am so sorry that that happened to you.
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And Like, now that it's been a little while since that happened, like, are you still like, are you still raw?
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Or like, can you look at it and laugh, or do you look at it and want to cry again?
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Like, like, where are you at?
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Yeah, I don't feel like the sadness I was feeling, like I just felt utter sadness and I couldn't explain it, you know, and normally I'm like okay, I'm gonna start my period tomorrow, you know.
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But it wasn't that like it was just like what I mean.
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Literally I got to.
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I said twice in one day what is wrong with me?
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And I'm like okay, if I can't answer that like normally, I can at least dig deep enough.
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I'm okay.
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Really, what at the root of this is, this is bugging me.
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You know, I could have maybe explained away an item or two or you know a conversation or two, but really I think it was just I don't know, I have a lot of anxiety and I don't realize it until I Take away the thing that helps it.
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You know, yeah, yeah.
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Well, I'm glad that you took away the thing that helps your anxiety in order to have the awareness that it's helpful to have a thing that helps with the anxiety.
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One thing that I thought of that got said to me this week and we've heard this, we've all heard this hundreds of times Put on your oxygen mask before you put on your child oh right, yes and it's like the that you just gave a beautiful, a metaphor or analogy of that by putting the top on Moose's shake and not on yours.
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Yeah, you know it's like it's like you know, yeah, it's gonna, it's gonna fucking not go, okay, if you're not, okay first.
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By the way, I don't require this or ask this of her.
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No, she is the, she is the divvy outer of the protein powder.
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So I just want to put that yes, I'm not the bad, yeah yeah, no, this is not an indictment toward you, moose, it's just me saying to Sarah that it's like, okay, like even those of us who travel all the time for work have got to be told every damn time we get on a plane, put your oxygen mask on yourself first.
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It's like we just don't get it.
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We're just not wired to make sure we're okay and then make sure everybody's okay.
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And I'm just pointing that out and I love, sarah, that that you were proactive enough to talk to your doctor and and to do what you need for you to be okay.
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Like I want to celebrate that.
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Thanks.
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I mean, in a manner of ways, it came down to that.
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But yeah, eventually it was like all right, I need to ask for help, you know, and my doctor was like let's do this, here's what you're gonna do and here's how to get back on, and I'll send you a new Script right away.
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You know, it was just.
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It was great.
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We have great doctors, so that's helpful as well.
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Awesome.
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Love that Well, talking about like health related stuff and panic attacks and like things that help our bodies feel worse and better and stuff like that.
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I know that we've kind of we've talked about this often on, you know, over the past couple of years, but I have gone through a season of life in my physical body where I am super, super, super easily triggered to vomit.
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Like I can just think about vomiting and I can puke like right in the moment, like it's like my little gag reflex thing has got very little tolerance for anything and it's like heaven forbid, I brush my teeth and like my worst fear is having bad breath.
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So it's like at least let me brush my teeth.
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You know, and one of the things that I have learned is a contributing factor to this like super sensitive gag reflex thing is drinking coffee, and so I've been trying to find alternative things to replace coffee and I've done dandelion and I've done mud water and I've done all the things that everybody wants to text in and type in and say have you tried it?
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Yes, yes, I've tried all of it.
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And where I have landed and I'm not fully satisfied, but I'm more satisfied than I ever have been where I have landed is I've been drinking tea in the morning and we have a mutual friend.
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Her name is Diane Sheets and she started a company called the Nashville Tea Company and she has a storefront and a retail space down in Columbia, tennessee, and there is a variety of tea that they sell that's called Sunday afternoon and then there's another one that's called Iron Goddess of Mercy.
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Ooh.
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So I have been mixing tinctures of different kinds of her tea to find like my most perfect tea in the morning and I am so proud to say and I think I said this last week too, but maybe with a little bit different context like I have not thrown up in weeks, that's so great it's been weeks.
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Yeah, and so I just wanted to say thank you to Sheetsy and to the Nashville Tea Company for being one of the Cat and Moose Podcast sponsors, and you know what that means when you're a sponsor of the Cat and Moose Podcast, we pay you to talk about your products.
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We just really like you, and we want other people to like you too.
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Yeah, so go buy some stuff, guys.
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Is it loose?
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leaf cat it is, it's loose leaf tea.
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And I bought this thing called a Zen Tea Thermos because several years ago I bought my family thermoses for Christmas from Tivana.
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Yeah, and little did I know they're owned by Starbucks and they're no longer.
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They don't have storefronts anymore.
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They're not really even so much of a brand anymore.
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So anyway, when I was looking this Christmas my mom was saying hey, my Tivana mug after like seven or eight years has kind of gone bad.
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Would you get me another thermos?
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And so when I was looking that up I learned that Tivana is not really a thing anymore and they certainly don't make thermoses anymore.
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And so I found this thermos called Zen Tea.
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And so basically what you do is it's got this little basket at the top that you put the loose leaf stuff in and then you screw a little thing on top of it to hold it in there.
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And then I take two teaspoons of honey in honey straws and I go, you love a honey straw, that onto there, and then I close the Zen Tea thing and I let it sit overnight and then in the morning I put boiling hot water mousse from your water pot that I still have, that you brought here when we had an office together.
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I put boiling water in that and it is loose leaf tea and it's delicious every morning.
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I've been trying, like I said, different concoctions every morning that sounds great.
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I've been drinking tea before I go to bed and it is so relaxing and I like homemade iced tea.
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Homemade iced tea.
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Oh yeah, yeah.
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Are you drinking tea with chamomile?
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Yeah, and there's one that I call Breathe Right, but it's not what it's called, because that's a Breathe Right strip.
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I think it's called Breathe Easy or something like that, and it's got some sort of mint in it.
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That is delicious, nice.
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Okay, I have an honest medical question for you.
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Just, we're going to do this on the podcast.
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Have you had the camera put down your throat in relation to you being sick?
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Because I have a theory.
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I had a colonoscopy about four years ago.
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And in right.
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Thank you, sarah.
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I am aware, and as part of the colonoscopy they also did an endoscopy, which is the putting the tube down the throat, which I had when I was 10, when I was really sick, and I would love to hear your theory because I have not had that test recently.
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Moose, no.
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My theory.
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In my 20s I had to have an endoscopy because I had the same problem and I had.
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We're doing this in real time baby.
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I had ulcers in my esophagus from stress.
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Oh good, oh, good Okay.
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And I honestly everything I would eat, especially stimulants related coffee, anything with caffeine in it.
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I would get sick and it was because, especially on an empty stomach, I just could not have a stimulant on my stomach or on my esophagus.
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But it might be something to consider in your stomach or in your esophagus.
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I'm not a doctor.
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Let me say that.
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Well, I am going to see you guys' doctor next Friday, and that's the thing.
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It's not the thing at the top of my list.
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I have a weird lump underneath my armpit at the top of my list.
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And I think it's an infected lymph node is what I think it is.
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And, ann, I'm not a medical person either.
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You guys, this episode might really suck.
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No, everybody's going me too.
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Me too, I've got a lump too.
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Everyone likes to talk about their owies and what medicine they're taking for it.
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You know, we were talking about subletting.
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We were talking about subletting a couple episodes ago, maybe last week.
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Yeah, sharing prescription medication.
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Yeah, yeah, that was last week.
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Me and my friend Megan, and sometimes Sarah, like to sublet doctors, and so we ask multiple questions beyond what we need, and so I find it a PSA when I come back from a doctor's appointment and I deliver information to my friends because they're in their 40s.
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I'm in my 40s, so I did that recently and I gave a whole speech to my friend Megan about triglycerides.
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So I think that we should be able to ask you questions that maybe you could bring to the doctor, since you're the next one in line.
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That's 100%.
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Because I told her I said I have three.
00:20:26.952 --> 00:20:37.008
No, I said I have two acute things and two chronic things that I want to talk to you about, and so I've already said to her these are the things I want to talk about.
00:20:37.008 --> 00:20:41.135
Now, if I walk in there with a couple more, yeah, I think that's fine.
00:20:41.135 --> 00:20:41.867
So what do you got?
00:20:43.647 --> 00:20:45.173
Yeah, that's exactly what she'll say.
00:20:45.173 --> 00:20:45.907
What else do you got?
00:20:47.006 --> 00:20:48.049
She will actually.
00:20:48.049 --> 00:20:49.369
You're going to love her.
00:20:49.704 --> 00:20:51.511
So what am I asking her on your behalf?
00:20:52.125 --> 00:20:52.969
Oh, I don't even know.
00:20:52.969 --> 00:20:58.991
I like I said I was there this week, so I already have a list of things I'm working on.
00:21:00.154 --> 00:21:01.436
I see, I see, ok.
00:21:01.436 --> 00:21:11.130
Well, here's what I want to know from you then, moose, is you said to us earlier this week that you hacked the hacker.
00:21:12.012 --> 00:21:22.395
Yes, you guys, I you know, kat and I didn't give you what you deserved at the time when you were struggling with the hacking.
00:21:22.395 --> 00:21:28.948
I got to be honest, like you don't understand unless you've been through this Right, mm-hmm.
00:21:29.664 --> 00:21:37.585
It is like it's just relentless the fixing and the trying to, you know, figure it all out.
00:21:37.585 --> 00:21:42.130
But anyway, yes, I decided I mean it was today.
00:21:42.130 --> 00:21:47.116
It was today as they were this recording I said that's it.
00:21:47.116 --> 00:21:49.511
I'm not getting help from this company.
00:21:49.511 --> 00:21:51.729
Fill in the blank, don't worry, I'll talk about it later.
00:21:51.729 --> 00:21:56.693
So how do I become the hacker?
00:21:56.693 --> 00:21:59.309
And I did.
00:21:59.309 --> 00:22:10.179
I hacked the hacker and I currently, as of this recording, have gotten all of the websites back that were stolen and I want to celebrate yes.
00:22:11.708 --> 00:22:16.203
Yeah, celebrate good times, come on.
00:22:16.886 --> 00:22:21.587
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, come on Boom.
00:22:24.047 --> 00:22:31.078
So yeah, so does that mean that there is a 20% off all things at ArchieMontanacom?
00:22:31.604 --> 00:22:45.404
Yes, I mean, by the time this goes up, you guys, there will be a celebration sales, what we're going to call it I almost wanted to call it Hack the Hacker, but I'm like I'm not going to give him the attention A celebration sale 20% off.
00:22:45.404 --> 00:22:51.065
It will just be on everything, anything $65 and up, you get free shipping.
00:22:51.065 --> 00:22:52.542
Go, give us some love.
00:22:52.542 --> 00:22:52.724
You guys.
00:22:52.724 --> 00:22:55.305
We have been in hail and back.
00:22:55.305 --> 00:22:56.680
Yeah, you guys have been through hell and back.
00:22:57.647 --> 00:23:01.690
And let me just tell you, I got a journal from ArchieMontana for Christmas.
00:23:01.690 --> 00:23:14.404
I got a beanie from ArchieMontana for my birthday and I am really Jones and Moose for one of those little like sling-packed bags that like mustard-colored one.
00:23:14.404 --> 00:23:16.845
I just can't figure out what color I want.
